Rewriting Pain
by OldGregg89
Summary: All Rory wants is to write the perfect story, but instead her life is turned upside down, and past and present loves break her heart. Does happiness lie with what she has always felt was right? Or with something new and unexpected?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **_Rated T._

Rory stared blankly at her computer screen. It stared blankly at her. She had never experienced writers block before, and now was definitely not the time for it. She was working for a fairly large magazine company, and had just received her first major piece. She was to review a young up-and-coming writer, her boss had supplied her with a list, she'd read their books and now…nothing. She grunted in frustration and switched the computer off. Giving up, she'd deal with it later.

Pulling her coat on she headed out to Luke's. Perhaps refueling her brain would help her out. She entered the diner and was greeted by Luke.

"Hi Rory, how you doin'?" He said, grinning at her and pouring a coffee out for her.

"Thanks Luke, you're definitely my hero of the day." She said, taking the coffee and gulping it down.

"Still no luck with the story I'm guessing?" He asked. Rory had been moping around Stars Hollow all week, whining to anyone who would listen. Eventually even Kirk was sick of her.

"Nope. All the writers are good, it's just, none of them stand out from the rest." She told him with a sigh, he nodded, looking sympathetic.

Rory was now 24, and had gotten her own apartment in Stars Hollow. She worked from her home for the magazine, she was happy with her life. It was quiet and simple, and she got to write, which she loved best. She hadn't given up her dream of being a foreign correspondent but she was wise enough to know it wasn't going to happen the day she graduated college, or even soon after. She needed experience, and working for this respected magazine was perfect for now.

She slammed her empty coffee cup down on the bench, feeling no less frustrated, and no more ready to write the greatest story either.

"Give me a BIG coffee to take away please." She told Luke, he handed it to her before she even finished the sentence. "Thanks, wish me luck."

She walked back to her apartment and flopped down, throwing the empty coffee cup in the bin. She switched the TV on, and then switched it immediately off when she remembered how terrible daytime TV was when you weren't suffering from the flu.

Forcing herself to her feet she walked over to the bookcase, glancing over all the books she had read 100 times, when one caught her eye. She squatted down and tugged at it, trying to free it from between the other books. With a final yank it slid out and she held in tightly in her hand. A small black book stared up at her, and at the bottom it read "By Jess Mariano."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Rory hadn't looked or even thought about this book in almost 3 years and she had gone out of her way not to think about the author. She wasn't exactly sure why, they had been friends, on good terms. He had helped her realise that she belonged at Yale before it was too late, but after their last meeting and the kiss they had… kind of shared she had just felt it was better not to think about him.

Every now and then, she let those words slip into her mind "It is what it is. You. Me." She had hated to hurt him, even though he had hurt her much worse. She looked down at the book now and it seemed almost like fate. This book had been amazing. The list her boss had given her had only been some ideas, she could write about any new writers. This could be a real opportunity for Jess, not to mention for her, she knew she could write something incredible about this book.

She looked on the inside cover at the publisher, "Truncheon Books." She remembered the place clearly and she was sure she could easily find it again, but it had been 3 years, he might not even work there anymore. Jess had always been completely unpredictable and for all she knew he could be living in Australia.

She was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of her mobile vibrating on her desk she hurried over and answered it quickly.

"Hey Rory, what you doing?" Lorelai asked from the other end of phone.

"I think I've just come up with a story, but I'm not sure if I want to do it or not." Rory told her and she heard her mother let out a massive groan.

"You can't be serious! You've been boring the whole town stupid with your complaining. You tried to convince Miss Patty to write a book just so you could review it. Please don't tell me you're going to ignore this brilliant idea just to continue torturing your poor old mother, young and sprightly though she may seem." Lorelai babbled.

"It has to do with Jess." Rory said shortly, for once Lorelai was quiet. Rory sat for a moment, waiting for her mother to speak and when she didn't she continued, "Remember he wrote that book? Well it was a really great book and I just know I could write the perfect story about it."

"There are plenty of great books out there. Maybe I can have a word with Miss Patty again for you." Lorelai suggested hopefully.

"Mom! You know Jess is ancient history, it's been years. Why are you so weird about it still?" Rory asked, feeling irritated by her mothers never ending protectiveness.

"Why are you still so weird about it?" Lorelai shot back, it was Rory's turn to fall quiet now. They were both silent, Rory looked at the book, sitting their on the couch, filling her mind with all kind of ideas.

"Jess and I will always be weird. We can't go 5 seconds together without hurting each other, but this is a really important story and I can't think of anything else." Rory said quietly, she heard Lorelai sigh now, kind of sadly.

"Why can't Dean have written a great book? He was nice and simple." Lorelai said with a small laugh.

"Oh yeah I can see it now. 'How To Lay the Perfect Guilt Trip and Master the Art of Jealousy'." Rory laughed. She and Lorelai talked for a while, about what all the townspeople would call their books if they were to write one. When they finally got off the phone, Rory went over to the couch and picked up Jess's book.

She looked at the cover for a moment, almost a little afraid to read it again. It had been so long since she had willing let Jess into her head. Then she opened it, and began to read.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It was dark outside and Rory's stomach growled with hunger by the time she finished reading the book, she closed it finally with a small smile. It was even better then she remembered. She stretched her back then threw the book onto the coffee table in front of her. She was meeting her mother at Luke's for dinner and realised she was due there five minutes ago.

She leapt up and grabbed her coat running out of the apartment and all the way to the diner. Lorelai was sitting at their favourite table and Rory could see her teasing Luke who was grinning down at her.

Rory entered and Luke walked back behind the counter to fix the plentiful amount of food Lorelai had ordered for the two of them.

"7 minutes Rory, you kept me waiting 7 minutes." Lorelai said, tapping her watch.

"I'm gonna do it." Rory said, ignoring Lorelai. "I'm going to go to Philly tomorrow and see Jess and get his permission to run the story."

"See him? Can't you just call him for that?" Lorelai said, seeming startled at this news.

"There is a release form he has to sign." Rory said, before realizing there was coffee in front of her and taking a long sip.

"Ya heard of a fax machine?" Lorelai asked.

"Ya met Jess? He didn't even get a cell phone til he was 20. I just think a fax machine would be one step too far for him. It's no big deal. I'll drive there, then drive back that night. Bada-bing-bada-boom I'm out of there. You won't even know I'm gone." Rory said, patting her mothers arm reassuringly.

"Ok…bring me back a…what do they even have in Philly?" asked Lorelai.

"I'll just bring you a T-shirt." Rory told her.

"When are you gonna go?"

"Tomorrow. No point putting it off, it'll just mean I have less time to write the story. Maybe Jess will even give me an interview, that would be really handy." Rory said, feeling hopefully. They sat and ate their food mostly in silence, Lorelai felt nervous and Rory couldn't really think of anything to say to reassure her. In fact, it wasn't her job to reassure her, Lorelai should trust that she was mature enough to handle seeing Jess.

Later that night Rory lay in bed looking at the ceiling feeling more nervous then she had in years. What if Jess was angry, or hated her. Worse still, what if he had forgotten her all together.

Her phone started vibrating she had received a message, she opened it, it was from Logan.

"_Hey Ace, I'm back finally. I miss talking to you. It's been too long, must catch up xox._"

Rory looked at it for a long time. Logan had been in and out of her life since she finished college. His unexpected marriage proposal had seemed to spoil all hopes for them. But, they had shared some nights together since their breakup, and she did miss him a lot sometimes. She smiled to herself at Logan's timing and she slowly drifted off thinking about Logan and Jess and the story she was going to write.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Rory had reached the area where she remembered the Publishing house being, but she was having trouble finding the street. She pulled over and took out her map, trying desperately to find out where she was and which way she was heading.

She finally figured out that the street she needed to go to was about a half a mile behind her and she cursed softly, turning her car around and heading back, finally finding the building she parked her car and looked up at it from out her window.

It looked exactly the same as she remembered, except the sign. The sign was different, but she knew from the new sign that Jess was definitely still in there. The sign read "Hollow Publishing". Rory smiled at the little sign, it was black and red, and painted in Jess's handwriting. She remembered his writing from Luke's Specials board at the Diner. She gathered up the papers and her bag and got out of the car.

Rory walked across the road and stood at the front door, she stood there for what felt like forever, and then, taking a deep breath she opened the door and stepped inside. A small bell tinkled above her head and it made her jump a little. She stood in the narrow dimly lit hall, looking around her, walking slowly forward she entered a fairly large room with a staircase on the left of it. There was no one around and she felt nervous, like she wasn't meant to be in there.

She heard steps coming down the stairs and she turned her head upwards to see Jess slowly making his way down the stairs, her insides froze and she quickly turned and walked straight back out on to the street, the bell tinkling loudly behind her. She crossed the road quickly and was about to get into her car when he heard Jess yelling from the door.

"Hey! Lady! Where you going?" He called. Rory was shocked, partly she couldn't believe she had just been called 'lady' but mostly because now there was no escape. She sighed gently, standing for a moment, considering just jumping in her car and keeping her head down, but that was ridiculous, she came here for work, backing out now was completely pathetic.

Slowly, Rory turned around to face him. They stood, facing each other from either side of the road, simply looking at each other. Her face felt like glue and she tried to form a smile but it was more of a grimace. His hair was longer now, and it fell naturally, not gelled up ridiculously. He looked older, he looked better.

His arm rose gently in the air and he waved. Rory snapped back to life, and was able to move again, crossing the road to reach him, she stood in front of him, he looked down at her, completely stunned.

"Rory…" He said in barely a whisper.

"Jess." She said back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Somehow, Rory wasn't quite sure how they ended up back inside the publishing house sitting at a small wooden table, they hadn't spoken and she was clutching her papers for dear life. Jess sat across from her strumming his fingers across the table.

"I have a reason for coming here." Rory blurted out, immediately feeling stupid.

"I assumed so." Jess replied coolly, he looked at her for a moment and when she didn't reply he went on, "So, mystery woman. What's this reason?" Rory gave him a small smile and then handed him the latest copy of the magazine she worked for.

"I work for these guys." She informed him.

"Nice. Impressive, I've heard of it, never read it then again I'm not a big magazine guy." Jess said, flipping through the magazine.

"No, I do remember that about you. Never once saw you with a magazine, and I have seen you a lot so one could conclude that magazines…not for you…" Rory trailed off, feeling dumb again, she decided to just explain her situation to him plain and simple. "I've got my first major piece coming up in the next issue."

"I see…" Jess said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Yes and I have to do a story about a new writer. Someone young. I've had the worst writers block for a week, just sitting at my computer, it looking back at me, mocking me when finally I got an idea!" Rory told him, smiling now. "I found your book, and I thought hey…writer…young…great book. So I've come here to ask, can I do my story on you and your book?"

They sat in silence. Jess looked slightly stunned and confused, Rory riffled through her notes, without actually reading any of them.

"I haven't seen you in three years Rory." Jess said suddenly, Rory looked up at him, trying to think of something to say, but he wasn't finished, "You just…disappeared."

"I've been in Stars Hollow this whole time." Rory exclaimed.

"And I've been right here as well. You don't just forget about someone, and then turn up out of the blue and lay this kind of thing on them." Jess said angrily, Rory was completely lost for words, she felt relief wash over her as her phone started ringing.

"Sorry…it could be work…" She said, answering her phone.

"Hey Ace." Logan said, Rory stammered, then quickly went to the other side of the room. She couldn't believe this, she was being attacked by multiple ex's.

"Logan, hi. I wasn't expecting to hear from you." Rory said, trying to keep her voice down.

"Well I've missed you. These past 6 months in Australia have been a drag, it wasn't so bad with Finn by my side, but it sucked not having you there." Logan told her. Rory felt her cheeks redden slightly.

"That's sweet, but I promised last time I saw you would be the last time we would be together like that. It's time to move on." Rory didn't really want to have this conversation with Jess sitting at the other side of the room looking daggers at her. "Look I can't really talk, I'm out working on a story."

"I need to see you though. Can't we move on together?" She heard a sort of desperate pleading in his voice and she couldn't bare to hurt him.

"We can meet up for a drink and discuss this properly. 3 days time, the usual place?" Rory said.

"Ok. I love ya Ace." Logan told her, she hung up and walked back over to Jess.

"Logan, huh?" Jess said with a small smirk, "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You always did let him walk all over you, I don't know why I ever thought you'd get away. Even when perfectly good guys like me were willing to treat you right."

"It is what it is. You. Me." Rory repeated back to him, Jess looked surprised that she remembered after all this time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Rory stood in the bathroom, feeling strangled and so uncomfortable. She felt relieved to be out of Jess's gaze, but she was afraid she would never be able to convince herself to leave the bathroom. She looked into the mirror, she looked paler then usual.

Jess had just taken her down a peg or two and she felt shorter, did she look shorter? Now she knew how her mother felt when she said that. Rory had thought about the fact that Jess could be angry, but she never actually thought he would be. For some reason she had pictured him just looking at her like he always did and her feeling just a little bit better about herself, but it wasn't like that at all.

She had to go back out there; she couldn't move into the bathroom, it would get awkward when it came time for Jess's shower. So she took a deep breath, which she seemed to be doing a lot of today, hopefully she wouldn't hyperventilate she thought to herself, before exiting the bathroom and going back to sit down across from Jess.

"I'm sorry I attacked you." Jess said as soon as she was back, she was surprised but grateful. "It's just, you turn up out of no where Rory, I'd almost forgotten you, put those memories behind me. Then you turn up and I call you 'lady' and you want to talk up my book in some magazine. I just, I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

"That was kind of the plan." Rory admitted sheepishly. "You just…well you know how you were, I didn't want to hurt you anymore." She admit and he smiled slightly, nodding his head.

"You loved Logan." Jess said, and she nodded. "And now…?"

"I don't know. There is so much history between us, Logan and I, we rival you and I." She told him with a small laugh. "But seriously, lets not talk about relationships and the past, I just want to do a story about your book, and this place and you."

"I dunno Rory. I've always been all about being independent, doing this story is kind of selling out in a way." Jess told her, she felt her stomach drop. Out of all the problems she had imagined when she'd see Jess, him saying no to this offer wasn't one of them.

"Oh I see. I really wasn't expecting that…I guess…I should go." Rory stood up feeling really upset, and sort of embarrassed for some reason. She snatched the magazine away from Jess and gathered up all her notes. "It was…interesting to see you again." She made to walk off but Jess rolled his eyes.

"Cool it." He said, standing up as well. "I haven't said no. I just need to think, no need to freak out just yet, I know how you love too, but just hold off a little longer."

"Oh…" Rory sunk back down in her chair and put her notes down again.

"Let's hang out. You, me. Have dinner, have some drinks. Just catch up. I don't want things to be bitter and weird with us. We have a lot of history, everyone knows that, but it's just that. History. What do you say?" Jess asked. Rory was surprised by this offer, his mood certainly had turn a cool 180 degrees in the last few minutes. She thought about it, Jess had been a good friend to her in the later years, he had seemed a lot more mature, maybe catching up would be nice.

"Ok sure. You can show me what Philly has to offer. All Mom and I could come up with was T-shirts." Rory said, putting her notes in a neat little pile then picking her bag up and looking at him expectantly.

"Geez Gilmore, demanding as always." He said with a grin, she smiled back then they headed out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Rory and Jess entered a grubby looking bar and took a seat in the corner, Rory felt like things were crawling on her, but she said nothing. She didn't want to insult Jess.

"It's dirty as anything, but they make great burgers, and the drinks are cheap." He told her, reading her mind. Rory nodded as Jess went up to the bar to order their drinks and food. He returned a moment later holding a pint of beer and a giant blue drink.

"Uh, I'll have the beer thanks." Rory said, eyeing the blue thing nervously.

"It's a fruit tingle, girls love them." He told her, pulling his beer away and placing the blue monstrosity before her. Being brave, Rory took a sip, and it wasn't half bad, very potent though.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" Rory said teasingly, before having another sip.

"I don't want to be alone. No one likes drunken talk when they aren't drunk." Jess reminded her, she shrugged, it had been a long time since she'd drank. The last time it had been with Logan, since it was all he did.

They sat and talked and laughed, Rory couldn't remember the last time she had just sat and laughed with a friend. They ate their delicious burgers and then drank more, a while later they had both deteriorated into drunken messes.

"You GOTTA let me do my story jess…You gotta." Rory mumbled, stuffing a handful of peanuts into her mouth.

"You know me. You knew me. Know me, knew me…I can't decide." Jess said, stopping and thinking.

"I think that I know you." Rory decided for him, before continuing, "It'll be great. You can still be successfully independent and be in a magazine, it just means you succeeded, you did it all on your own!"

"NO! You read my book and want to help me. NOT INDEPENDENT." He explained to her.

"Oh god, mum was right why couldn't Dean have written a book, he _is_ nice and simple." Rory moaned to herself.

"And what a best seller that would have been." Jess said sarcastically. "Seriously, what a nobody. I don't know why you even liked him in the first place."

"Or the second for that matter." Rory giggled to herself, Jess looked at her in confusion.

"The second?" He asked her quietly.

"After you left, I was all alone. And Dean, well he was around. I started to think, maybe, just maybe, if I got back with Dean, it would be like you never existed. And it hurt so bad, you not being there, and I was confused. Then I slept with Dean and he split with his wife and- " Rory was speaking but Jess briskly cut her off.

"You slept with Dean?!" He exclaimed angrily, Rory jumped in surprise, she felt sick, she pushed her half full drink away from her.

"I think I've had enough." She mumbled, looking down at the table.

"I can't believe it. I came and asked you to come away with me, and you didn't. It was because of Dean wasn't it, he was with you that night." Jess continued, ignoring the fact that Rory was obviously uncomfortable.

"Oh Jess, it wasn't because of Dean!" Rory told him, rolling her eyes. "You hurt me."

"And you hurt me! You're not completely the victim here." Jess snapped at her, he was standing up now and pulling his coat on, "Seriously Rory, Dean! I just, I've had some false picture in my head all these years about the kind of girl I thought you are. Thanks for clearing that up for me." He turned and walked out of the bar. Rory just sat there, swaying in her seat a little.

Then it hit her. She didn't know where she was. She couldn't drive herself home, she was far beyond the legal limit. She bit her lip, fighting back tears of panic. She rushed out onto the street to try to find Jess but he was gone. Dizziness filled her head and before she knew it all her peanuts, her burger and her drinks were coming back up, she rushed into the side alley and threw up quietly. The tears she had been fighting back had won the battle and were now pouring down her cheeks.

Rory stood back up, she felt less sick now. He stomach had settled slightly. She walked back out onto the main street and looking up at the bar name. She slid down the wall and sat on the hard pavement before getting her phone out, and dialing in a number.

"Logan?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Rory awoke that morning, and immediately wished she hadn't. Regretfully, she opened her eyes and gazed around at an all too familiar surrounding. She didn't quite remember how she'd gotten there though. Shakily she hauled herself out of bed and into the bathroom. She felt more hung over then ever before and was stumbling back to bed, when a way to cheery voice called out to her.

"Ace, you're up. I was starting to think you'd never be up again." Logan came walking down the hall towards her and Rory managed a small smile. "You're green." He informed her and helped her back into the bedroom.

"Thanks." She grunted, curling up into a ball with her back to him. He walked around to the other side of the bed so he could see her.

"Gonna tell me what happened last night?" Logan asked her, taking one of her hands in his.

"I already did." She mumbled, closing her eyes, trying her best to make it as obvious as possible that she wasn't in a good state to talk.

"No you didn't, when I asked, you mumbled something about toot fingles and when I pressed the matter you sort of hissed at me then passed out." Logan said, trying to hide his laughter.

"How humiliating." Rory groaned, realizing that there was no chance for more sleep until she spoke to Logan, she pulled herself into a sitting position and faced him.

"I went to see Jess." She told him simply.

"Jess?" Logan asked, it was obvious he didn't remember.

"The writer." Rory said.

"Oh…Hemmingway." Logan nodded, remembering now. "Why?"

"For a story for the magazine." Rory said, she getting very irritated. "Look I feel terrible Logan. I just want to sleep, we can discuss and argue about this later." She flopped down and closed her eyes, she heard him stand up and leave the room. She lay there, trying to fall asleep but the events of last night wouldn't let her. Why had she told Jess all that stuff about Dean, she would never drink again. She picked up her phone from the bedside table. She had a message. It was from Jess, she opened it eagerly, hoping for a "Don't worry about last night we were just drunk" or something similar.

"_You left your notes here. I'll be out from 1-3 tomorrow, come get them then." _

"Mmm…warm and fuzzy." She muttered to herself, before putting her phone back on the table. Jess didn't really have any right to be angry at her like this. She understood it, sure. But, she hadn't done anything wrong, except to Lindsay. Jess had left her, not said goodbye to her. Run up told her he loved her then run off again. All these things, they hurt her. She thought back to the call she had received on her graduation from Chilton.

"_I'm not going to pine for you…"_ What a lie! She had pined for him for her whole first year of college. When he had said, he loved her she wanted more then anything for him not to run off, to stand there and face what she had to say. Because it would have been "I love you too" but her chance was snatched away from her.

Rory sat up angrily now, and picked up her phone and dialed in Lorelai's number. She answered and before she could say anything Rory burst out, "I shouldn't have to feel bad for him ever!"

"No you shouldn't! He does his best, even if it is a terribly lame attempt at comedy!" Lorelai burst back, not skipping a beat.

"Yeah and- wait who are you talking about?" Rory asked.

"I just assumed we were talking about Rob Schneider." Lorelai said, Rory could hear her eating through the phone.

"What are you eating?" Rory asked, starting to feel hungry and keen for something horribly greasy to fix this hangover of hers.

"Poptart, cold, a few days past its used by date. They only get better with age." Lorelai said, as if describing a fine wine. "Now what's with the random angry outbreak?"

"I should have listened. Things with Jess went horribly. We really can't be within say…20 miles of each other." Rory told her.

"Yeah well, like I said you two have not had the smoothest of rides." Lorelai reminded her.

"Stop gloating." Rory told her.

"Rarely does one get such a perfect opportunity to gloat though!"

"Mom. I'm trying to be serious here, what should I do?" Rory asked, feeling a little desperate.

"You two will be pals again in no time. If all the other stuff you two have been through doesn't spoil this friendship then whatever this is won't either. Just talk to him, let him grunt back, and interpret those grunts into a meaning." Lorelai said.

"He doesn't grunt anymore Mum." Rory told her before hanging up.

Logan came back into the room, carrying a big glass of water, "I thought I heard you alive and forming nice full sentences. Didn't hear any hissing so I thought it was safe to come in." he laughed, handing her the drink.

"Thanks." She said, gulping the whole thing down.

"What's the plan for today?" Logan asked, putting his arm around her small shoulders.

"I'm going back to Philly to get my notes." Rory told him. She wasn't going to go tomorrow between 1 – 3 that was pathetic and weak. She was going to face Jess, and tell him…well she didn't quite no yet.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Rory stood outside the publishing house feeling unbelievably nervous for the second time in two days. It was getting dark outside now. It had taken her a good 20 minutes to convince Logan to leave. He had dropped her in Philly, then refused to leave. Finally he had given in, rather angrily and driven off.

She entered and the bell tinkled over her head, she could see a group of people down the hall, sitting around the table, she hadn't expected to be faced with a group, and felt stupid now for not expecting it. Jess wasn't the only one that worked there. A girl came walking down the aisle, smiling politely.

"Hi there!" She said brightly. Rory gave an awkward smile.

"Hello, I'm looking for Jess?" Rory replied, the girls smile disappeared for a moment, but was then replaced by a much more forced one.

"He's upstairs in our room." She told him, "Follow me." The girl headed down the hall, and for a moment Rory found it impossible to move. 'Our' room? She had been with Jess all night last night and there had been no mention of an 'our'. She managed to force herself forwards and after the girl. The girl was pretty, dark red hair and green eyes, she was tall, taller then Rory, she wondered if this girl was taller then Jess. "Just through there." The girl directed her, and then left, leaving Rory staring at the door in front of her.

Taking a deep breath Rory knocked on the door three times, there was no answer so she pushed the door open slowly, she was amazed at what she saw. Every wall was completely lined with books, from top to bottom, it was dim in there, but it smelled sweet. There was a keyhole shaped window to the left and the last lingering sunlight seeped through it, casting a small light over the bed, where Jess lay, holding a book in his hand and looking at Rory, stunned.

"I didn't think you'd have the guts to face me after last night…" Jess said, surprised by Rory's new courage.

"Surprising! I didn't think you'd have the guts to get angry at me for hurting you." Rory shot back, Jess went to speak but she held her hand up, she was determined to get this out, or she never would, "Yes, I slept with Dean! It's none of your business. It was stupid of me to let it slip, but you had no right to react the way you did. You broke my heart Jess, absolutely smashed it. So I went back to Dean. He was safe, I knew he would never hurt me. Even if he had tried, it wouldn't matter, I didn't love him. I loved you!"

She stood looking at him; he looked away, placing his book down on the bed. He was looking out the keyhole window. Rory could see his mind ticking over what she just said.

"You know I'm sorry for all that Rory, when are you ever going to let that rest?" Jess said in exasperation.

"It was resting Jess! Until you brought it all back up again with your reaction about Dean." Rory replied dryly, pushing a couple of chairs off the seat in front of her and sitting down. They eyed each other off with distaste. "It was me you know…" Rory said after a moment, "I deviled egged your car."

"It wasn't half obvious." Jess said with a small smirk, sitting up and facing her.

"I really loved you." Rory said quietly, looking down at her knees in embarrassment. "It took me so long to get over you. Logan saved me from driving myself crazy over you."

"Logan…" Jess repeating, frowning now, "…I'm glad that you have him."

"I don't really…not anymore." Rory told him, "I could…I don't know what I want."

"I felt like that for a long time." Jess said, in what Rory thought was meant to be a reassuring tone.

"Until you found that girl?" Rory asked gently.

"You met Celeste?" Jess said, a real smile crossing his lips as he said her name. "She's been great. Best thing that ever happened to me."

"I'm glad…that you're happy I mean." Rory said sincerely. There was a comfortable silence now, this felt like goodbye to Rory, she thought Jess felt that way too. "For a long time I thought we were meant to be together, you and I." Rory told him in barely a whisper, she stood up now, he stood up too.

"Me too." Jess replied, walking over to her, and hugging her. Rory had felt over Jess for a long time, her life had been all about Logan. But, in this room, standing there with Jess hugging her, she didn't want him to let go, she felt like she was 16 again. He let go and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I'll see ya Rory." Jess said, giving her a small grin.

Rory felt tears rise up, but she blinked quickly, and turned and left the room, holding her notes. She could bare to say those words. To say good-bye to him.

She sat in her car outside "Hollow Publishing" staring at her steering wheel blankly. She tried to compose herself but she couldn't, a tear escaped her eye, and then she was unable to contain it anymore. A small sob escaped her, and she covered her face with her hands. Subconsciously she had always just expected Jess to be somewhere out there, loving her. But now, he loved that girl, that Celeste.

She hadn't thought about Jess for so long, but these last couple of days had brought up all sorts of feelings and all sorts of old hurts. She was brought out of her tearful world by a gentle knocking on her car window. Logan was looking through the window at her, concern all over his face. Rory opened the car door and climbed out into the cold night.

"Ace what's wrong? What's happened?" Logan said, taking her hands in his and pressing his forehead against hers, she closed her eyes, and her last remaining tears caught on her eyelashes.

"Just…goodbye's are really tough." Rory mumbled, trying to force a smile across her tearstained face.

"Then never say goodbye to me. In fact, I'm going to insist upon it." He told her, hugging her close to him. This felt wrong, it didn't feel right like it always did, even the last time she saw him it had still felt like the right place for her, being in his arms, but now she felt different.

"I'll do my best." Rory said, pushing this feeling aside and kissing him gently on the lips.

"So, you're going to give into my boyish charm and spend this week with me before I head off to Canada for the next three months?" Logan said, raising his eyebrows cheekily.

"I've always been very partial to charm, especially the boyish kind." She smiled.

"Meet you back at my place, I bet you I'll beat you back." He said, walking over to his car and unlocking it.

"Not a chance Huntzberger, I got that legendary Gilmore speed that drinking coffee since I was in the womb has given me." She called out as he climbed into his car. She glanced back at the publishing house, and saw Jess standing at the keyhole window looking down at her, he waved down at her then disappeared.

Damn it, he was always disappearing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Rory looked at Logan, the light in the room was dim, the sun was starting to come up, and she still hadn't gotten any sleep. She sat up, and looked over at the bedside clock, 5:06am.

"Crap." She said, hauling herself out of bed, they were at her apartment tonight, so she walked over to her desk and turned her lamp and laptop on. Logan stirred in his sleep, and looked over at her, blurry eyed.

"Ace…what are you doing? Go back to sleep." He moaned, throwing his pillow over his head.

"Can't go back if I was never there to start with." Rory told him, but he had already fallen back to sleep, she rolled her eyes and smiled.

She had started working on her piece, she had picked a random author from the pile she had been given, she felt her piece lacked any real depth of interest, but she just wanted to get this piece finished, maybe then Jess would get out of her head and let her go back to normal.

She riffled through her notes, then found a form she hadn't noticed before. It was the form she had offered to Jess, so she had permission to review the book and talk about him. She frowned at it, then noticed, down the bottom that it was signed.

Jess had signed it!

Rory's heart sped up, she had a day left before her story was due in, she wasn't sure if she'd even be able to finish it in that time. Why hadn't she noticed this earlier? Why hadn't Jess told her?

She took a seat at her computer, and started typing fiercely, completely determined to get the story done in time. To write the perfect story she knew she could write about Jess and his book.

She didn't stop typing for four hours, editing, rewriting, thinking of better things. Logan was slowly waking up again, and he peered over at her, she didn't notice he had woken up and just stared, wide-eyed at the screen.

Leaning over, she picked up Jess's book, flipped through the pages then found the part she was after, then started typing again.

"You look like you're on a mission." Logan said, coming over and looking over her shoulder, she stopped typing for a moment, and spun around in her chair.

"Jess signed the release form. I'm allowed to use his book." Rory told him with excitement, he grinned at her, then kissed her on the head.

"Well I'm glad. You want coffee?" He said, stretching and heading out of the room into the kitchen.

"Definitely." Rory said, then she turned back to the computer. She looked at what she had written, she grinned. She wanted desperately to speak to Jess, to thank him but she didn't know if it was appropriate. She felt as if the last time she had seen him was a real good-bye, but she hadn't known he had signed the form.

Rory picked up her phone, and brought his number up, she gazed down at it for a moment, then took a deep breath and pressed call. It rung a couple of times, then an answer.

"Hello?" It was a girl, it was Celeste. Rory froze for a moment and wanted to just hang up, but her number sending was on and they would know it was her.

"Hi, this is Rory." She said, there was a silence at the other end. "I came by the other day to speak to Jess."

"I know who you are." The girl said, she sounded cold.

"I was just wanted to speak to him about the magazine story I'm doing on him." Rory continued.

"I think it would be better if you didn't speak to him Rory." Celeste said, then she hung up, Rory stared down at her phone in confusion.

Why on Earth was Celeste being so cold and rude? Rory couldn't think of why, maybe Jess had said something to her. Rory didn't dare call again, she turned back to the computer, and went to start typing again, but she couldn't. Her writers block was back and all she could think about was Celeste.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

It was night and Rory was still thinking about how strange Celeste had been on the phone. She hadn't made much progress on her story and she was starting to get desperate. She didn't dare trying to call Jess again in case Celeste answered. Rory was worried about Jess and what was happening between Celeste and him, he had seemed to really care about her.

"No progress?" Logan said, coming in to check on her, he had been all day and was being very patient with her snapping and anger.

"No." Rory said flatly, she needed to speak to Jess.

Then, she got an idea. "Logan!" She said, grabbing his arm. "I need you to call Jess for me!"

"Seriously, Ace?" Logan said, looking surprised, "I really don't think that dude would be pleased to hear from me somehow."

"His girlfriend won't let me talk to him, if you ring, you're just some guy. She'll put you on." Rory explained, Logan shrugged.

"Sure, if it will get you out of this mood and get you to finish your story." Logan picked up his phone, "What's the number?" Rory told him and he keyed it in.

Rory had stopped breathing, this was her only chance, if this didn't work she wouldn't be able to finish her story.

"Hi, this is Augusten," Logan smirked at Rory and gave her a wink, before continuing, "I'm trying to reach Jess."

Logan stood, listening for a moment, with the occasional "uh-huh" or "I see", Rory couldn't read his expression and she felt incredibly nervous, finally Logan spoke again. "I understand, but this is an important call, I'm sure he'll want to take this call."

Rory was filled with gratitude to Logan, he had been so perfect to her over the last few days, and she was starting to dread him leaving in 2 days time.

"Thank you very much." Logan said with a nod, then he handed the phone to Rory who waited, she could hear Celeste's footsteps and then her saying to Jess, "There is an Austin or Augusten or something on the phone, I told him you were busy but he insisted on speaking." She heard Jess groan in annoyance then take the phone.

"Jess here." He said, sounding irritated.

"Jess it's me." Rory said, in barely a whisper, she didn't know why she was whispering, she was miles and miles away, but she was afraid of Celeste, and afraid of messing up what Jess had with her.

"Ohh…" Jess sounded surprised, but tried to hide it, doing his best to sound off hand he said, "Of course I remember you, been waiting for your call actually, just hold on one minute sir." Rory smiled, then Jess said to Celeste, "I'm just gonna take this upstairs, it's important".

Rory listened as he shuffled upstairs, she heard a door close, and then Jess was back, "What are you calling for?" He asked.

"You signed the form!" Rory told him.

"I know, I was there." He said, waiting for more.

"Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means. I've hit a bit of a block, and I just knew I needed to speak to you." Rory told him, "Then I called and Celeste was so rude and hung up on me."

"Yeah, we've been fighting the last few days, she says I'm different ever since that 'mousey little Rory girl' came to visit." Jess informed Rory.

"I'm sorry you're fighting. You seemed to really care about her. I hope it isn't because of me." Rory said sincerely, she heard Jess sigh, they were both quiet for a moment. "What made you want to be a writer?" Rory asked.

"In all honesty?" Jess asked her.

"Well that is the point of being a journalist, to me anyway, giving people the facts." She replied with a small chuckle.

"You." Jess said simply.

They were both quiet again, Logan had left the room and at that moment walked back in to see Rory looking very confused.

"What's wrong?" He asked her, brushing his hand through her hair.

"Nothing, just trying to get some answers out of Jess for the story." She said with a forced grin. Logan looked at her with a weird expression on his face, then left the room again.

"Do you need anything else from me Rory?" Jess said, sounding annoyed now.

"I just, wanted to make sure I wrote the best possible story about your book and you Jess." Rory explained.

"Ever since you came back things are weird Rory. I've been fine without you. I found myself signing myself away to you, because I couldn't bare to see you sad. It shouldn't matter if you're sad. Not anymore." Jess said, sounding upset and angry all at once.

"You shouldn't have signed if you didn't want to Jess." Rory replied.

"But I did want to, because you were there, and you were…Rory. Looking at me, fidgeting around just like you always have, rambling on about nothing at all like you do when you're nervous and it just…it was nice to have you back." Jess said, softly now, "So yeah, I'm different now, with Celeste, and it is because of you. But Rory, please…just leave me alone now. Because, you're there…and that Logan guy is there with you now and I can't stand to have you back on my mind again."

"You seemed fine when I left Philly!" Rory said, she couldn't believe the things he was saying.

"I know…I was, then you left, and I was watching you down on the street…and you looked so good and I missed you." Jess said simply.

"Well, I'll leave you alone Jess. If that's what you want." She said, feeling extremely upset.

"It is." Jess said, they were silent for a while, then Rory hung up, she could feel herself shaking and she wasn't sure why.

She'd gotten what she had called for though, her writers block was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Rory received never ending compliments on her piece for Jess's book.

"It's really wonderful, so full of feeling." Miss Patty had said, giving her a small wink.

"It's beautiful. You bring the book alive, I can't wait to read it." Said her editor, simply glowing.

Rory didn't really care though, she didn't receive any praise from the one person she wanted to hear it from. She was sticking to her word, she wouldn't call Jess. No matter how badly she wanted to know what he thought of what she had written.

Maybe he hadn't even read it at all. That was a possibility if he was trying to distance himself from her. She felt sick at the thought, she wanted him to read it. She knew he would be pleased, and proud of her. And he would know how proud she was of him as well.

Logan had left a week ago…gone for three months. Rory wished he was there, just so she had the company. She always missed him for the first few weeks he was gone, then she would move on, only to be dragged back again when he returned. She didn't miss him as much as she usually did though, she was to preoccupied with Jess and Celeste, constantly wondering if they were ok.

She had been in her apartment for two whole days before she realised she hadn't had a cup of coffee. Deciding she didn't want to become some obsessed cat lady she grabbed her coat and headed out to Luke's.

Kirk was sitting on the steps outside looking extremely depressed. He didn't even look up when Rory stood over him, looking down at him, her head cocked to the side in confusion. A moment later Lorelai stood next to Rory, also looking down at Kirk.

"Hey, haven't seen you lately. What's he doing?" Lorelai asked, indicating down at the unhappy Kirk.

"I'm not sure. I think he's in some sort of coma." Rory said, Babette joined them.

"Kirk honey?" Babette said, there was no reaction from Kirk, so Babette squawked loudly, "KIRK!"

He jumped slightly then looked up at the three women, who were looking down at him with a mixture of amusement and concern.

"I've never seen such a sad expression across your face before." Rory told him.

"Or any expression for that matter." Lorelai piped in, Rory elbowed her and glared at her, "Sorry, sorry, concerned mode, got it."

"What's happened Sugar?" Babette asked, putting her hand on Kirk's weedy little shoulder.

"I'm going to have to end things with Lulu." Kirk announced, the three women were stunned.

"What, why?" Lorelai asked, more worried about the possibility of finding Kirk in her shed again then anything else.

"She wanted a pet you see. I had a bad feeling, but I allowed it. She went off to the pound and I went to work, when I returned I could sense something." Kirk explained to them.

"Something peeing all over your already marked territory?" Lorelai enquired with a cheeky grin, only to be elbowed by Rory again.

"Well…of all the animals at the pound. Lulu found this cat…she found Cat Kirk." Kirk said, then he buried his face in his hands. "I can't go home."

Lorelai and Rory stifled their giggles, but knew they wouldn't be able to hold them back so they quickly climbed over Kirk and pushed their way into the diner, before falling down at the closest table and laughing hysterically.

"I'm too busy for crazy today." Luke barked over the counter.

"Then you should probably sweep your front steps." Lorelai chuckled, slowly starting to calm down. Luke peered out his front door and saw Kirk shaking with fear on his front steps.

"Oh for the love of…" Luke mumbled, going outside, Lorelai and Rory watched with small grins on their faces, watching Luke's angry face soon be covered with his hands before rushing back inside, laughing quietly to himself.

"Cat Kirk's back." Rory said to Luke, who nodded, still laughing and heading into the kitchen.

"So…" Lorelai said, trying to steer the conversation away from the great Kirk Battle and onto more important things, "I read your story, honey it was amazing. Choosing Jess's book was really the right thing to do. Tell anyone I said that and I will of course deny, deny, deny."

"Mm…" Rory sighed, her happy mood instantly brought back down at the thought of the Jess.

"Have you spoken to him about it? I'll bet he's really pleased, everyone I've spoken too really wants to read the book." Lorelai continued, starting to realise that something was definitely up with Rory and she could guess what, "Hun, anything you want to talk about?"

Rory looked up quickly at her mother, she wanted to talk about it desperately, but she knew what her mother would think and say, she didn't want to deal with the i-told-you-so's just yet.

"No, of course not. Jess is happy…really happy…" Rory said, yeah really happy as long as I keep away from him, she thought bitterly.

"Are you sure Rory? I promise I won't say anything, if you just want to talk I'll keep my annoying Mom opinions to myself." Lorelai said, Rory sighed.

"I'm not ready yet Mom and I know you won't be able to keep quiet." Rory told her, Lorelai nodded understanding though she was desperate to know what was going on. What had Jess done this time? "I think I'll just go home, I'm not in the mood for coffee." Rory told Lorelai.

"Not in the mood…for coffee?" Lorelai said, she was so confused, something was definitely up. "Alright Ror, but you call me the second you are ready to talk."

Rory left the diner looking truly miserable, as soon as she was out the door Lorelai climbed to her feet and walked behind the counter to find Luke.

"Luke?" Lorelai called.

"Get out from behind the counter! You know you're not allowed back here." Luke snapped angrily, nudging Lorelai back out onto her rightful side.

"Won't I ever get special privileges!" Lorelai cried out in vain.

"We're engaged, that doesn't give you the right to have your face burned off by searing hot oil." Luke told her.

"Shucks." She smiled, "Anyway, listen, something up with our kids."

"What could possibly be wrong between Rory and April?" Luke said, looking puzzled.

"No you halfwit. Jess and Rory, remember your nephew? Little heartbreaker?" Lorelai reminded Luke, he nodded that he understood so she continued, "Ever since this whole book thing, Rory has been really down, you don't think anything happened between them?"

"I don't think so. Jess has a girlfriend, from what he said, which isn't much mind you, I think he really cares for her." Luke told Lorelai.

"Yeah but, this is Jess we're talking about. He's always had it really bad for Rory…and Rory, well she never knows what she wants." Lorelai said.

Meanwhile, Rory walked slowly back to her apartment only to find a couple of very unexpected visitors sitting on the sidewalk out the front of her apartment. Colin and Finn sat, they weren't talking and instantly Rory knew something was up.

"Colin…Finn…what are you doing here?" Rory asked them, they hadn't been to her apartment in a very long time and she was surprised that they remembered where she even lived.

"It's Logan." Colin said simply, it's like he didn't know what to say, he looked desperately at Finn for help.

"What about him?" Rory said, surely he hadn't been injured again, he'd given up those childish pranks, "Is he ok?" Rory said, beginning to worry.

"Oh yeah…physically he's fine. It's just we didn't realise he was still seeing you." Finn explained, "And when we did…well me and Colin…"

"What Finn is trying to say is that we knew that we had to tell you." Colin said, helping Finn out.

"Stop beating around the bush and just tell me? Is he drinking too much again? Is it drugs?" Rory asked, frustration starting to override her worries.

"Rory…Logan's married." Finn told her. Rory rolled her eyes.

"Yeah right guys, what sort of joke is this? Aren't we a bit old. He has no time to be married, he's always traveling he barely has time for me." Rory told them.

"What? Logan hasn't traveled in I don't know how long. He stays in New York mostly, he only ever goes away for, a few weeks here… a few days there." Colin informed her. Rory couldn't believe this, surely she wasn't so blind she could miss the fact that Logan was married.

"I don't believe you. He's supposed to love me." Rory snapped, trying to push past them, they were stupid pranksters still, even after all this time.

"Rory! We wouldn't lie to you about this. He admitted he was still seeing you last night, we had a boys night…he had a few too many, and that's usually how you end up getting the truth out of our Logan." Colin told her, he was remaining calm and gentle, there was no trace of laughter on his face.

Rory sank down onto the grass and they sat down with her.

"What…what exactly did he say?" Rory asked, feeling the colour draining from her face. How did she always end up being the other woman? Was that really the kind of person she was?

"Well, we thought that last week he was away…visiting his parents. Stupid for us to believe him, since he hates the bloody- " Finn held back his profanity and continued, "But he told us that…Bethanie wasn't enough for him, she never would be."

"Oh god. He's always been such a…womanizer I can't believe I even thought he was faithful for a second, not that he and I were exactly official." Rory said, feeling the rage building up inside her.

"No no…it's not because he needed more then one woman. It was because she wasn't you. You're 'the one' according to him, but he knows he isn't yours. But, he can't break free of you, so he goes back to you for small times, and you are happy together. You don't see his flaws in those short times, it's just bliss." Colin explained, Rory's head was spinning.

She wondered if she hadn't been so preoccupied with her career, and more lately Jess if maybe she would have realised, she felt so stupid.

"I've just been…so preoccupied I never even thought that it was possible." Rory told them, feeling ill.

"He said he wasn't going to go back to you again. That you're heart was with someone else had that he couldn't stand to feel so pathetic." Finn told her, Rory felt startled, it had been more obvious to Logan that it had even been to herself. "We thought you had the right to know though."

"Yeah…I'm glad you told me. It's just a lot to digest." Rory told them, the sun was starting to set and the streets lights all sprung to life suddenly. "You boys are welcome to stay on my foldout couch tonight if you like. It's a long way home and it's getting dark already." Rory didn't know why she invited him, she just didn't want to be alone and they were so simple and made her laugh.

"You sure love? It's no trouble to drive home, Colin and I can share the driving." Finn told her.

"No, stay. You can head home in the morning." Rory insisted, the two boys looked at each other then shrugged, heading up the stairs behind Rory.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Rory awake, blinking with the light, then quickly squinting her eyes closed again. Her brain was throbbing, she was almost sure it was too big for her skull, something had to be wrong. Then she remembered what was wrong, almost an entire bottle of tequila was wrong. She felt herself gag a little, but swallowed it down with a shudder.

She looked at her bedside clock, it was only quarter to 7, it was still early, and she still felt a little drunk.

"Note to self, no more binge drinking." She mumbled. Pushing the covers off herself.

"You'll be right, just go back to sleep for the next 185 hours." Finn said from beside her. She snapped around to look at him, lying there, shirtless in her bed.

Rory tried desperately to remember last night, and slowly, painfully her memory came back, "Oops…" She said quietly,

Oops barely covered it, Oops meant nothing. But it was all Rory could think to say, she was speechless, not to mention hideously embarrassed. But she was 99 sure that it wasn't a coincidence that she had woken up next to a half-naked Finn.

She stumbled to her feet and into her lounge room, where Colin lay, fully clothed, snoring loudly and leaving a large drool stain on her pillow.

"Oh god…" She said, feeling even more woozy. She lowered herself into the seat across from Colin who didn't move. At least he's still dressed she thought to herself.

What had she done? This wasn't like her. She had just been so angry with Logan, and Jess, and Celeste and her whole life. Something had snapped inside her, and she had done shot after shot of the cheapest tequila imaginable until she was unable to see straight.

Finn was nice, he was there. She'd always found him, sort of attractive. I mean, she knew he was handsome, but she'd never really thought about him in that way, I guess all she needed was a few million shots of tequila to open, or rather, barely be able to open her eyes, to go for him.

Had she done it because she wanted Logan to know? Because she wanted to hurt him? Partly yes, she supposed. But she was just so messed up, so lonely. She missed Jess, she wanted to talk to him about her story, about his book.

A few weeks ago she had been satisfied with her life, she had been happy even. She loved her work, she loved living in Stars Hollow, and she enjoyed Logan's visits. Her life was going fine, she thought eventually Logan's job would settle down and he'd get to stop traveling, maybe then she would be ready to settle down with him. She had barely even thought of Jess, he wasn't even a dot on her radar screen.

Now, Logan was married, she wanted nothing more then for Jess not to be freezing her out, and she had a half naked Finn in her bedroom. She felt like she was living in a soap opera all of a sudden.

How dare Logan lie to her! She had done nothing to deserve it. She never even suspected it, not even for a second. She felt stupid now, for not suspecting anything. She had always been slightly wary of Logan, except when it counted the most, when he had a wife!

Fuming she picked her phone up from the coffee table in front of her, and typed a message, it was one word, but she knew Logan would completely understand what it meant.

"_Bethanie_"

She watched the message send, then she sat, slightly stunned at what she had done, for a moment desperately wanting to take it back. Then, being pleased. She could image Logan's reaction, he was probably still in bed lying next to his loving wife, half asleep he would reach over to his bed, look at his message. **1 Message Received, Ace** it would read. As soon as he opened it, he would be wide awake.

Rory climbed to her feet and went back to bed, climbing back in, Finn threw his arm across her, she was startled at first, but then it felt slightly comforting. It was nice to have someone there; nothing she found out about Finn could hurt or anger her, because she didn't really care.

"Finn?" Rory said, he opened his eyes, they were bloodshot, and heavy.

"Yes, Rory?" He said, sounding slightly irritated at her need to have a chat at this particular point in time.

"Logan knows I know." She told him, Finn processed this, not saying a word, "He doesn't know how, but he knows."

"I'm sure he'll figure it out, Colin and I were the only ones who knew." Finn replied, closing his eyes again, but she knew he wouldn't go back to sleep now.

"Are you annoyed?" Rory asked him quietly, his arm was still over her, and she took this as a good sign.

"It would be a bit stupid of me." He mumbled, "I mean I came here, dobbed in my best friend, then slept with you."

Rory laughed at this, Finn knew how it was.

"It was a bit unexpected." Rory told him, he looked at her with a small grin on his face.

"I suppose, though I am ridiculously irresistible to all." Finn reminded her, Rory rolled her eyes then smiled back.

"I feel a little weird though, I've never just…I've never done anything like this before." Rory told him. I mean there had been her first time with Dean, but even then they had a long history, and she had feelings for him, with Finn it was completely out of the blue.

Finn pulled himself to a sitting position, rubbing his face, Rory sat up to. He was toned, and tanned. Both good qualities and she was glad she'd directed her drunken hideousness towards him and not Colin, even at her worst state she still managed to have some taste.

"I know. Rory, I know what you're like. Don't worry, there will be no typical Finn bragging. Beside the fact it would hurt you, I suspect Logan might break my neck." He winked at her and she smiled. "So…are you going to talk to Logan about this?"

"I don't really think there is much to say. He's completely broken my trust. It's not like we can work through it and get back together. He's married. He needs to work things out with her, not me." Rory told him, Finn nodded. She wasn't used to this serious side of him. "I'm surprised you know…that you and Colin cared enough to tell me"

"You looked after us in college, always got us home safe. You never did a thing wrong by Logan, we just, didn't think you deserved it." Finn grinned at her then climbed out of bed, doing his pants up and heading out of the room, she watched him go, wishing for a moment she'd noticed him instead of Logan back at Yale.

Rory heard her phone start ringing from the living room and leapt out of bed, forgetting how sick she felt and quickly regretting such a leap, then hurried out and answered her phone.

"What?" She snapped, knowing instantly who it was.

"How did you find out?" Logan replied, in a hurried whispered voice.

"It doesn't matter, I know now so it makes no difference." Rory replied, Colin still hadn't stirred from his place on the couch, still snoring like a truck. She heard Finn flush the toilet.

"It matters to me ok. Rory, you don't understand." Logan said, Finn reappeared in the room and Rory quickly held her finger up to her mouth indicating for him to keep quiet.

"What is there to misunderstand Logan. You are married, you didn't tell me. I feel like an idiot." Rory practically screamed, this woke Colin.

"What the hell are you yelling f-" He began, but Finn lunged across the room, clapping his hand over Colin's mouth, a look of realization coming across his face Colin nodded and Finn removed his hand.

"Who was that?" Logan asked suspiciously. "Who is there with you?"

"100 tall bohemian men! Who cares it's none of your business, go back to bed with your wife." Rory said.

"Colin and Finn told you didn't they?" Logan demanded, "They are there right now. That was Colin I heard."

"You're insane. Why would Colin and Finn be here?" Rory said, trying desperately to cover up.

Logan was silent now, Rory, Finn and Colin exchanged looks between each other, all feeling extremely uneasy. Finn looked guilty for the first time since being there with Rory, and Colin just looked afraid. Finally Rory spoke, "Look Logan, I have to go. Have a good life, tell your wife your EX-mistress says hello." Then she hung up.

Rory sat down on the couch between Colin and Finn. "You know he's going straight round to your houses don't you?" Rory said, they both nodded looking grim.

"We should go." Colin said, climbing to his feet, Rory had never seen them like this and she felt slightly bad that it was because of her. Colin walked to the door, mumbling something about bringing the car around, before disappearing out her front door. Rory and Finn sat awkwardly beside each other.

"Look…" Finn said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence, "Don't feel bad about what happened between you and I. You were upset, not to mention utterly sloshed.'

"I'm glad you stayed over. I don't know what I would have done without you here. I'm just glad I got to make my stupid drunken mistake with you." She told him sincerely, he smiled weakly at this then he to, stood up. They looked at each other. "My life has turned into The Bold and the Beautiful lately." She informed him.

"I know how you feel." He replied, then he leant forward and kissed her gently on the forehead, then he too, left. Leaving Rory alone. Her head swimming with Logan, Finn, and most of, despite everything Jess.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

3 months had gone by since all Rory's drama. And despite a few calls from Logan which she hadn't bothered to answer, and a few secret meetings with Finn everything in Rory's life had calmed down. She enjoyed seeing Finn, they had fun and it was perfect because she certainly wasn't ready for anything serious. They were both just having fun.

Rory pulled her mail out of her letterbox on her way back from Luke's one afternoon and saw an important looking letter in amongst all the bills and a few letters from people who read her stories.

It was an invitation to a new years party from the magazine she worked at. She read it carefully, **Rory Gilmore +1**. She pulled her phone out of her pocket at once and sent Finn a message.

_How do you feel about snooty magazine parties?_

A moment later a reply came through, making Rory grin stupidly to herself.

_Call me Mr Snoot, love._

Rory was glad she would have Finn's company, he would make an otherwise dull party fun. Feeling relieved that she had found something to do for New Years, as she had been starting to panic at her lack of options when it was only a few days away she skipped up the stairs and into her apartment, only to find someone sitting in it.

"OH GOD!" Rory jumped, feeling her heart almost leap out of her chest. "Mom, would you please give me some warning!"

"What like a sock on the door?" Lorelai said, not looking away from the terrible daytime TV she was watching.

"What are you doing here? Don't you ever call?" Rory demanded.

"All this technology is tearing us apart! Can't you just be pleased to see me?" Lorelai said, looking at Rory with puppy dog eyes.

"Fine, I'm pleased. Now what's up?" Rory asked, taking a seat next to her mother on the couch.

"As you know, today, it is exactly 1 month until I become Lorelai Danes. Even though I'm keeping the Gilmore, if I wasn't such an independent woman I would be Danes." Lorelai said, her eyes were glittering with excitement, and Rory smiled back at her, ignoring her mothers pointless ramblings about names.

"Oh my gosh, it is! January 28th! This is so exciting. Please tell me you haven't chosen dresses that are too skimpy! I'd like to live past your wedding day and be able to see you and Luke living your day to day lives, you driving him insane, him leaving the state to get away from you. That sort of thing." Rory told Lorelai, who laughed to herself.

"The dresses are a little on the…airy side, but I've made some beautiful shawls for you and Sookie for before and after the ceremony." Lorelai informed Rory.

"That'll be fine." Rory said.

"Good, because the whole wedding would have been off if you hadn't approved the shawls." Lorelai said sarcastically, but still hugging her daughter to her, "I'm so excited, finally, it's all happening."

"It has been a long time coming." Rory agreed with a nod of her head. "So why the visit today then?"

Lorelai's smile faulted a little as Rory looked at her expectantly. "Well…I bet you can guess Luke wants the best man to be!"

"TJ?" Rory said vaguely, she hadn't really thought of her, then it hit her, "Oh…Jess."

"Yeah." Lorelai said. The two women were silent, neither looking at each other, "Except…Jess won't do it. Something about him and Celeste being under enough pressure as it is."

"In other words, if he comes, he'll see me." Rory said flatly, Lorelai shrugged then nodded.

"Yeah…and Luke is just heartbroken. You don't think…you could maybe talk to Jess, sort this mess out." Lorelai said weakly.

"No way. I promised I wouldn't speak to him. This has all just started to be in the past! Why does it have to get dug up!" Rory snapped with frustration.

"Because it means a lot to Luke, I want our wedding to be perfect, for him as well as me. And that means Jess!" Lorelai replied, feeling angry at her daughters selfishness.

"It isn't my fault. It's his." Rory said childishly.

"You won't even tell me what happened! It's been months and I've still got nothing! Nothing about Jess nothing about Logan, nothing! We used to be best friends, now I feel like I know nothing about you!" Lorelai cried out, feeling miserable at how far apart Rory and herself had grown.

"You want to know! Fine, I'll tell you!" Rory burst out, "Logan is married! He's been married for over a year! His job didn't involve travel, he just needed to be at home with his wife! And Jess, he told me to keep away! Because, he didn't want to have to think about me, because when I was around things with Celeste went bad." Rory felt tears swelling up in her eyes, she had tried so hard not to think about any of this and here Lorelai was forcing it out of her.

Lorelai looked back at Rory speechlessly watching her fight back her tears.

"And I slept with Finn, and now we are sort of dating." Rory added, it seemed like nothing compared to the rest, but she thought she might as well drop it in there.

"So…Jess told you to leave him alone…basically because he didn't want to fall for you again?" Lorelai asked softly in a soothing voice.

"I don't know, I suppose." Rory shrugged, then buried her face into her mothers shoulder, letting a soft sob out. "I miss him. I barely thought about him in years, but when I saw him, I don't know, it was like it had only been a day or so since I'd seen him. Still fighting ridiculously, but he still got me. He got me so perfectly…" Rory cried some more, while Lorelai stroked her hair.

Lorelai smiled to herself, it felt like Rory was a little girl again, so afraid and innocent. She hadn't held Rory like this in so long, and even though Rory was so distraught she felt content, that eventually her baby did tell her the truth.

Eventually, Rory got a hold of herself and sat up, whipping the wet from her face and looking at her mother, who was watching her quietly.

"I'm sorry I keep things from you." Rory told her.

"That's alright baby. I got it out of you in the end." Lorelai said with a small smile, "Now, lets fight through all this wreckage and try and find something good, you're dating Finn?"

Rory appreciated that her mother didn't press her any further for details on Logan or Jess, she didn't feel like talking about them anymore, she was glad she had let some of her sadness out however.

"Yeah, sort of. I only see him once every few weeks or so, he lives in New York, but, he comes to visit and yeah, we have fun. It's nothing serious, it's nice to have someone though." Rory smiled at the thought of her and Finn, he was so much fun to be around, he was truly a good friend, and it was nice to have some affection as well.

"When are you seeing him next?" Lorelai asked, she had missed their girl talks so she was desperate for details.

"He's coming to see me for New Years, we are going to a party held by my magazine." Rory informed her, crossing her legs and hugging a cushion to her. "The party sounds really dull but it should be fun with him there."

"Sounds like you like him." Lorelai said with a cheeky grin. "Maybe it'll turn into something."

"I don't know. I doubt it." Rory shrugged.

"You have to move on eventually Rory." Lorelai reminded her, going serious for a moment.

"Give me time woman!" Rory said, hitting her playfully with the pillow.

"Ok…just don't take too much." Lorelai warned, Rory rolled her eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

**Just wanted to say thanks for the reviews guys, glad there are a few people out there enjoying it. If you have any suggestions of what you would like to see happen, let me know, and maybe I can work them in if I like them. Anyway here is Chapter 15. **

**Chapter 15**

Rory smiled warmly, and Finn returned this smile, before turning back to face the road, they were in the car on the way to the New Years Party and Rory was surprise to find herself excited. She'd curled her hair and put on a short black cocktail dress, Finn looked handsome in a matching black suit with a silver tie.

"You and I, my dear, have got style." Finn told her, giving her a small wink.

"Complete head-turners." Rory joked, fixing her hair with her hands, it was weird going to a staff party when you didn't really know the staff, 90 of the time Rory worked from home, so she assumed she'd simply spend most of the night with Finn, drinking and possibly, if having drunk enough, dancing.

"I hope this thing isn't full of wankers." Finn said with a small cringe.

"I'll bet you'll feel right at home." Rory teased, pulling at his cheek, like a grandma would do to a young child.

"Why do I choose to spend my time with her?" Finn asked to no one in particular, Rory laughed and sat back, careful not to crush her curls.

It was a fairly long drive and when they finally arrived Rory was restless and all to happy to be out of the car, rubbing the creases from her dress, and then taking Finn's hand they headed inside the grand looking hall where the party was being held.

"Wow." Finn said as they walked inside. It was completely packed, there had to be thousands in there. "I didn't know so many people could work for one place."

Rory looked around and saw a large Black sign with glittery gold writing that read "_Welcome Staff, & Special Guests"_.

"I'd say most of these people are special guests." Rory said, indicating to the sign. "Let's go grab drinks."

"You just want to take advantage of me, don't you Rory?" He grabbed her and tickled her sides, she squirmed trying desperately to get away, "When will it end! When will you just leave me be!" After what seemed like forever he stopped tickling her and she gasped for air.

"Too….far…." She panted as her breath slowly returned to her, she was smiling though, and the two of them headed off to find the bar.

"There are so many people here, surely we'll have to know one or two. I am incredibly popular and beloved by all." Finn said, after they had gotten their drinks (one for each hand) and taken a seat at a sticky looking table. Rory rolled her eyes and ignored him, taking a sip of her drink and peering around.

Finn pulled her chair over so she was directly next to him and put his arm around her, "Did I mention you look absolutely perfect tonight?" He whispered into her ear, she smiled and blushed slightly, turning her head so their noses were only a couple of inches apart.

"No you didn't." She told him softly.

"I didn't think I needed to, I thought the drooling and howling kind of gave it away." Finn said, grinning now. Rory laughed at his antics and took another sip of her drink.

"The drooling and howling is nice, but its always nice to hear it in proper words." She told him and he kissed her softly on the tip of the nose.

"Thought you might like it." Finn replied, pulling her closer to him so her head was on his shoulder. Rory closed her eyes feeling content for the first time in months. Maybe it would be nice to enter the new year with Finn, kiss him at midnight. Maybe next year would be simpler, she could finally relax and have someone fun and reliable to call her own. Smiling to herself, she opened her eyes and all her hopes of a simple time melted away.

Celeste and Jess were sitting directly across from her, and Jess had undoubtedly spotted her. Rory sat up quickly, knocking Finn's drink from his hand, and all down his jacket.

"Ahh…crap." Finn groaned, dreading the horrid stickiness that would soon cover him.

"Oh, sorry. I'm such an idiot." Rory groaned, Finn stood up and shrugged it off.

"I'll just go get cleaned up, back in no time." He told her, before disappearing through the crowd. Rory looked over to where Jess and Celeste had been sitting, Jess was now alone.

What should she do? Go over there? He knows she has seen him, they looked right at each other.

Doubtfully Rory rose to her feet and walked across to where Jess sat, he'd been looking away but when she stood over him he turned to look up at her.

"Smooth move." Jess said with a smirk, referring to her knocking drink all over Finn.

"Well, I was surprised. What are you doing here?" Rory asked stupidly.

"I was featured in the magazine. I was invited. Celeste wanted to come, she's never been to something big and fancy like this. I figured I could lose you in a crowd." Jess explain, Rory smiled slightly at this.

"You forgot one thing." Rory told him.

"What?" He replied.

"We are Rory and Jess." Rory shrugged.

"We do have an unfortunate habit of being unable to avoid one another." Jess admitted. Rory felt awkward, she had finally accepted the fact that Jess wanted her out of his life, and now here they were, face to face once again. "It's been a while." Jess said, stating the obvious.

"Yes…yes it has." Rory replied, unable to find anything to say, she looked around the room awkwardly, she could see Finn coming towards her and felt relief. "I'm glad you and Celeste are still together, you had me worried a bit."

"She loves me. We work." Jess said simply, Rory nodded, and then Finn was back by her side.

"I think I've managed to avoid ruining the suit, although I will smell like cheap public toilet soup for a good month." Finn informed Rory, who smiled apologetically. Then Finn turned his attentions on Jess, "G'day, I'm Finn." He outstretched his hand, Jess looked shocked for a moment before taking his hand and shaking it.

"Jess." He replied, Finn grinned.

"I think I've heard about you…" Finn said, looking thoughtful. Rory hoped he didn't remember Logan's drunken ramblings about Rory's heart belonging to Jess. Finn shook his head. "Probably thinking of someone else."

Jess gave Finn a weird look, Rory could tell he was sizing him up and that he thought Finn to be a bit of a joke, and this annoyed Rory.

"What happened to Logan?" Jess asked bluntly, Rory felt like she was going to explode she was so awkward and uncomfortable but she tried to remain calm.

"It was complicated." Rory said, hoping Jess would read her vagueness for avoidance and drop the subjected.

"The barstard was married." Finn informed Jess, Rory felt her cheeks turn crimson and she looked away quickly.

"What!" Jess snapped, standing up and looking at Rory, "And you didn't know?"

"Of course I didn't know! I wouldn't do that!" Rory exclaimed.

"Dean." Jess reminded her, Rory scowled at him now, taking a step forward.

"It's none of your business Jess. Don't act like you are Mr Perfect." Rory snapped at him, "You aren't above pursuing someone when they are in a relationship!" She was, of course, referring to Dean and herself, and though it was so long ago it was the only defense she had.

"You kissed me! Then ran off! That was different, you and Dean were emotionally over long before we started anything." Jess reminded her. They glared at each other, and Finn looked from one to the other.

"I think I just remembered who you are mate." Finn said, looking down at Jess, "And I think you should quiet down, better left in the passed aye?" Finn was calm, he took Rory by the hand and led her away, she was still looking back at Jess with massive anger.

Why did they always fight like that? Jess was still excessively protective of Rory despite the fact they barely saw each other and had been apart for years. He still saw her as the sweet innocent virgin he had fallen in love with.

Jess brought out the furious teenager in Rory. Still angry at all the things he had done to her, but still desperately hoping that he would find a way to make it up to her so that maybe they could be together without any resentment.

It was hopeless, even after so much time had passed, Rory was still drawn to him, wanting to talk to him. Wanting to get honesty from him.

Finn and Rory were outside on a balcony, alone and Finn turned to face Rory, looking a little wounded, "Is there anything you want to talk about?" He asked her softly.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Rory looked up at Finn, who looked calmly back, she didn't know what to say, she felt her phone vibrating in her bag, and hurriedly fumbled through it to find it, **Logan Calling…**

"OH GOD. Rory Gilmore, this is your life." Rory said with disbelief, canceling the call, and pushing the phone back into her bag. Finn looked at her questioningly, "It was Logan." Rory informed him.

"Forget him, what's going on with you and the lad in there?" Finn asked her.

"Nothing, things have never been easy with Jess and I. Bad relationship, bad break-up and now what seems to be a bad friendship." Rory told Finn.

"You don't need to lie to me love. I'm no fool." He said gently, putting his arms around her for a moment, before drawing her away and looking into her eyes, "Is that the one Logan was referring too?"

Rory nodded grimly, all she had wanted tonight was to have a stress free time with Finn. She wanted to laugh and drink and kiss. When she was with Finn she felt carefree and she hated that Jess had spoiled that, and had Finn asking all kinds of questions.

"I know you don't want anything serious with me Rory. You don't have to protect me, I'm your friend." Finn told her. Rory would never expected this kind of talk from Finn in college, she had always liked Finn, but more for comic relief then anything else. Everyday she was finding new things to like about him.

"Some stuff went down with Jess and I, last time Logan was visiting. We just…he told me to stay away from him, pretty much because he would fall for me again if I didn't." Rory explained, Finn looked thoughtful.

"Seems to me, that if you hung around him, you'd fall for him too." Finn told her, Rory was shocked. She hadn't expected such a thing to come out of Finn's mouth. "Am I right?"

"Maybe…" Rory said, feeling confused and uncomfortable. "You're probably right. But Jess and I, we don't work. He was right, we should stay away from each other, just to avoid the hurt."

The two were quiet, I cold breeze was making Rory shiver slightly, and Finn brought her to him, she liked being close to him. She thought about what had been said, staying away from Jess was an option, but she would constantly be wondering what if? But, if she went after Jess, he turned her down, she'd be without either boy. She didn't want to be without either of them.

"I want to see what happens with you." Rory told Finn, Finn grinned at her and kissed her on the forehead.

"Are you sure?" Finn asked her gently.

"There is just one thing I have to do first." Rory told him, he nodded understandingly, and she walked back inside, desperate to find Jess, and hoping that Celeste wouldn't be around. She just wanted to talk to him, tell him how she felt. She didn't know what she wanted to get out of this, she wasn't expecting for the two of them to just run away together. She didn't want to leave Finn either, she didn't know why she had to talk to him so badly, all she knew was that she did.

After searching for what seemed forever, she saw him, waiting at the bar. Alone. Gathering all her courage she made her way up to him then whispered softly in his ear, "We need to talk." He jumped and spun around to look at her, then nodded, and followed her without a word.

They found and empty room, it looked like a dressing room or something, everything was covered in red velvet and was completely hideous.

"Good lord…stylish." Jess said, referring the velvet monstrosity they had just entered. They were quiet, avoiding each others gaze until finally Jess spoke again, "What do you need to talk about?"

"I just want you to know that I need to be away from you as well." Rory blurted out, feeling stupid about the way she was going about this, "What I mean is…I go weird when I'm near you as well."

Jess processed this, many nights he had lay awake, wishing Rory would come to him, telling him she wanted him. When he had found Celeste, those nights had become few and far between but they were still there.

"Timing is what gets us." Rory continued, "It's always the wrong time for us. And now…I'm not sure the time will ever end up being right. Sometimes I used to think…in college after you were gone, that someday you and I would end up together. Stupid really…childish…"

"I used to think that all the time. Well…more hopes then thought." Jess told her, Rory smiled a little at this.

"Like you said…you and Celeste work. She loves you. No matter what happens with us, we just don't work." Rory told Jess, he looked away at this, into one of the mirrors that lined the wall. Rory went on, "I just wanted you to know, that if I let myself, I would love you."

Jess looked at her now, straight into her eyes, she felt afraid, she wanted to look away but she couldn't, he walked over until he was right in front of her. He brought his hand up to rest on the side of her face, it was warm against her skin and made her whole body tingle.

"I have to convince myself I don't love you." Jess said, practically whispering, "I can pretend like being away from you solves everything but it doesn't. Nothing can solve this." He leant down and rested his forehead against hers, their noses brushing against each other's gently. "I wish I could go back in time, I wish I hadn't left you. I wish I could rewrite this pain inside us both."

Then, ever so softly, their lips met, only for a moment, but it was sweet and beautiful and filled Rory's whole body with unimaginable warmth. Then they parted, and it was as if it never happened, they stepped apart and looked at one another.

"I reckon the right time will come." Jess told her with a small wink, then he left the room, leaving Rory alone with her reflection and a whole lot of red velvet. She took her phone out, the time read **12:01**. She smirked to herself, she had 24 missed calls from Logan which she simply deleted, before heading out to find Finn. The man of the hour. It was their time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Rory walked down the long driveway, clutching a small gift to her chest and feeling extremely nervous. She could hear the noise of the party already, and it made her feel sick. She wished she had arrived earlier so she could have found Finn immediately. She hadn't been to his house before and it was intimidating and huge.

She hadn't wanted to come to the party in the first place, but it was Finn's birthday and it would have been a horrible thing for her not to come. She knew Logan would be there, but she was sure he wouldn't make a scene or anything, as she assumed his wife would be there as well. None the less, she didn't want to see him, she was still hurt about the lies he had told her.

She reached the front door and knocked, pausing for a moment. Then she felt stupid, there had to be able 200 people inside and no one could hear her gentle knocking. So she pushed the heavy wooden door open and peered around, she didn't recognize anyone and she didn't feel confident about finding Finn anytime soon.

She traveled deeper into the house, looking around at everything. It was beautiful, she couldn't believe Finn lived here all alone. She felt a little ashamed of her shabby little apartment looking around now.

After walking aimlessly around the house and yard for about half an hour Rory finally spotted Finn looking quite sloshed with his arm around Colin and another around a girl she didn't recognize.

Rory headed over, still clutching the gift to her chest, Finn spotted her and grinned, stumbling up to her drunkenly and hugging her, putting a little too much of his weight onto her and they both fell to the ground.

"Terribly sorry love, I appear to have had a drink to many." Finn told her, climbing off her and helping her into a sitting position, "When did you arrive?"

"Not long, I've just been looking at your house, its gorgeous." Rory told him, he looked around.

"Not so gorgeous at the moment it smells like guys and someone's vomit. I'm 67 sure it isn't mine." Finn's eyes were bloodshot and he seemed to be having trouble keeping them open.

"I think you've had about 10 drinks to many." Rory told him, standing up and helping him clamber to his feet.

"You're a very pretty girl Rory." Finn said.

"No segues for you, I see." Rory told him, letting him lean on her and heading over to a couple of chairs off to the side.

"I can't believe that you're so smart and pretty and you like me." Finn went on, grabbing a drink that wasn't even his from the table next to him and taking a drink.

"Don't drink that." Rory said, taking it off him and putting it out of his reach.

"You don't seem as smart and pretty after all." Finn told her, looking grumpy.

"I got you something." Rory told him, handing him over the gift.

"Oh no, I forgot to get you anything!" Finn said, looking genuinely worried.

"It's ok, it's your birthday, I don't get gifts today." Rory said patting his arm.

"Oh yeah…" Finn said, then he ripped the wrapping off and looked down at it, trying to focus. It was a simple gold watch, on the inside it had "R4F".

"You always complain about being late to meet me. Now you've got no excuse." Rory said, she kissed him on the cheek, he was still looking at the engraving on the back.

"Logan doesn't know." Finn blurted out, Rory stopped smiling and looked at him. "And he's here and he doesn't know because I wasn't brave enough to tell him…"

They were silent for a while, Finn swaying in his seat gently next to her, she looked at him. She really did care about him, she had barely thought about Jess over the last couple of weeks since she saw him and they shared their kiss. Finn hadn't asked what had happened in the time that Rory had disappeared that night. She was grateful for this, because she was happy with Finn, but if asked, she couldn't lie to him.

"I really like you Rory." Finn said quietly, resting his head on her shoulder, she gently rested her head on his.

"I really like you too." Rory said.

"And I really like you three!" Said someone from the other side of Finn. Rory sat up and looked up to see Logan standing over them both. "Isn't this cozy."

"Logan." Finn said, looking startled.

"Finn." Logan replied.

They all looked at one another in silence, until Rory spoke up, "Don't get all high and mighty Logan. You'd have to be the biggest idiot at all to think either of us would feel bad about this."

"I think Finn feels bad Rory. I mean, why else wouldn't he have told me?" Logan asked.

"Maybe simply because he didn't want to deal with what you would say and do." Rory shot back, standing up to face him now, Finn remained seated, and looking a little woozy.

"He's my best friend Rory, no matter what the circumstances, you don't do that to you best friend." Logan snarled.

"Oh yeah, and under what circumstances could you possibly think it was alright to keep seeing me and sleeping with me when you were married!" Rory snapped back, folding her arms across her chest.

"That's not the point here!" Logan replied shortly.

"It's exactly the point. It's because of you doing that that me and Finn got together in the first place." Rory retaliated, she could feel her face going red with anger, how dare Logan be angry! He should be curled in the corner like a dog.

"Alright alright alright…" Finn snapped, getting shakily to his feet and looking from one to the other. "This is my fault…Logan I'm sorry…I should have told you, but I didn't want you to hate me." Then he flopped back down onto his chair.

"How could anyone possibly hate you Finn, unless of course, they are female and attended Yale with you." A girl said, walking over, "What's going on?"

"Just a bit of a disagreement, it's nothing." Logan told her, trying to brush her off.

"What over?" The girl asked, looking between the two boys, and then to Rory. "Hey, I recognize you, I've seen photo's of you in some of Logan's old photo albums, Rory isn't it?" The girl asked extending her hand.

"Yes, and you must be Bethanie." Rory replied, smiling sweetly.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Logan looked between the two girls, looking awkward and anxious. He hadn't known Rory would be here, as he hadn't known about Finn and Rory, and now he was afraid his whole life would blow up in his face.

"You were his Yale girlfriend?" Bethanie stated, more then asked. She seemed sickly sweet, Rory could tell she had grown up in a rich home, she reminded Rory of what her grandmother would have been like at her age.

"Oh yes, that's me." Rory said, with a smile and a shrug.

"Oh how wonderful. I've heard about you, of course Logan's mother has told me all about you, all bad of course." Bethanie joked with a small chuckle, Rory forced a grin.

"Yes…well…It was nice to meet you Bethanie, but I think I should help Finn to bed or at least to a bathroom." Rory told her.

"Oh don't be silly, get Logan to do it, it's not your responsibility." Bethanie went on, nudging Logan softly in the ribs with her elbow.

"Oh well it is, I'm Finn's girlfriend." Rory informed her. Bethanie gave Logan a small look as if to say 'there is going to be a long boring talk about this later' then she looked back at Rory.

"Oh really. I hadn't been told. Colin next aye?" Bethanie said, in a slightly nasty way. Rory decided immediately that she despised this girl, she was everything that Rory wasn't and she couldn't understand how Logan could be with a woman like that.

"Mm…" Rory said, not even bothering to string a sentence together, before helping Finn to his feet and leading him away. Bethanie and Logan stood and watched them go.

"Uh…that girl is- " Rory began but Finn finished her sentence for her.

"Absolutely putrid." He said. Rory smiled at him.

"Come on let's put you to bed." Rory told him.

"But everyone is still here, they'll miss me." Finn moaned, trying to go back to his adoring fans.

"Come on, no one wants to hang out with you when you can hardly stand. Except me." Rory told him, as the climbed slowly up the stairs.

Amazingly, Rory managed to get Finn into his bed and under the covers, he looked up at her from his bed, and she took a seat next to him, taking one of his hands.

"When's your attention going to be on me?" Finn asked, looking sorrowful, Rory looked down at him questioningly.

"What do you mean?" Rory asked.

"What do I mean about what?" Finn asked in a drunken slur.

"My attention." Rory reminded him.

"Oh… it just seems like we're constantly worrying about some other guy." Finn said, closing his eyes.

Rory looked down at him, she was a little surprised, Finn always seemed so fine with everything, she hadn't expected this kind of thing from him.

"I'm sorry I didn't know you felt that way." She sighed and looked down into her lap, "I know it seems like I'm always worrying about other guys, and maybe I am, I don't mean to. I just want you to know, that lately, when I'm alone, I'm not thinking about them though, I'm thinking of you." Rory looked up at him, he was asleep. She sighed again and stood up, brushing her hand through his hair gently, then she turned the light out and left the room.

Logan was standing in the hall, waiting for her, she was startled but not surprised.

"What is it?" She asked irritably.

"I shouldn't have lied." Logan told her.

"That's right you shouldn't have." Rory replied, going to walk away, but Logan stepped in front of her.

"Give me another chance." Logan said, Rory stood and stared at him in disbelief.

"You're married." Rory reminded him, starting to feel angry again.

"Not if you'll give me another chance. I'll leave Beth." He said, looking a little desperate.

"You have got to be kidding me Logan!" Rory snapped loudly, taking a step forward and looking at him through narrowed eyes. "There is no way in hell you are ever touching me again. I'm with Finn, and you can stay with your disgusting wife."

"C'mon Rory. We both know Finn isn't right for you, you're too smart for him. He's too much of a womanizer." Logan said.

Rory glared at him for a moment, then without even thinking about it, she reached out and slapped him as hard as she could across his face. Then she was stunned, she looked down at the palm of her hand as it slowly went bright red, Logan stood there looking at her, holding his cheek in shock. Finally, Rory managed to come back to life.

"You don't know anything about Finn and I." Rory told him simply, then she walked off, only looking back once to chuckle at the large hand print on Logan's cheek.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"I can't go through with it!" Lorelai cried out leaping to her feet, Rory rolled her eyes and pulled her mother back down next to her.

"Not even the most gullible person in the world would believe you." Rory told her, and Lorelai grinned mischievously.

"It's finally happening kid." Lorelai said, looking happy and smug.

"I know." Rory said, hugging her mum. "Now I have to go home."

"Leave your mother alone, the night before her wedding, what manner of beast are ye?" Lorelai exclaimed.

"It's 11 at night. You should sleep or the 'something blue' will be the bags under your eyes. Besides, I told Finn I'd be back by 9, he's sitting in my apartment, bored out of his brain." Rory told her mother, who sighed, then climbed to her feet and walked Rory to the door.

"You ready for tomorrow?" Lorelai asked, taking one of Rory's hands and swinging it gently.

"Hey! That's something I'm supposed to ask you!" Rory smiled, then opened the door and stepped out into the cold air. The ground was muddy and slippery under her feet as she trudged home, regretting her decision not to drive now. She walked past Luke's diner and noticed that the store room light was on casting a dim light through the store. Luke lived with Lorelai, but was staying at Liz and TJ's tonight in case seeing the bride before the wedding was bad luck.

Rory walked up to the door and peered in, trying to see anyone, she pushed on the handle and surprisingly the door swung open. She liked the diner at night, it was quiet and warm and it always brought back fond memories. Time's with Luke, her mother, Dean, Jess, Lane.

"Luke?" Rory called out, walking towards the storeroom.

A familiar face appeared at the store room door and Rory smiled.

"I should have guessed." She grinned, walking forward and hugging Jess.

"You should have indeed, how you graduated Yale is a mystery." Jess replied with a grin, he was holding a book in his hand and he was wearing an all too familiar denim jacket.

"You still have this thing!" She laughed, tugging at the sleeve, the jacket looked a lot more lived in now and it had faded.

"Old faithful." Jess replied with a small sideways grin, looking down at it. They were silent for a moment, looking at each other, it made the hairs on the back of Rory's neck stand on end, but she stayed calm.

"What are you doing in the storeroom?" Rory asked, desperate to break the silence.

"Celeste is asleep upstairs. She needs it to be pitch black, I came downstairs and sat at the counter for a while…but she said to much light was creeping in and keeping her awake." Jess explained, a slight irritation in his voice.

"Well…uh…sounds very complicated." Rory said with a small chuckle. "I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow, the big day is finally here."

"Yeah, finally Luke managed to pull it together." Jess said.

"You mean my mother did!" Rory replied, laughing now. The looked at each other for a moment longer, "Well, see ya." Rory headed for the door, then turned back, Jess was still in the same spot, "Did you read the article?"

"About 100 times." Jess said back, Rory nodded waiting for more. "You did good Gilmore. You didn't make me sound pretentious or anything."

"Well, mission accomplished then." Rory turned to leave again.

"It was perfect. I couldn't have imagined anything better. You've really done it Rory, you're a real writer. A real journalist. You'll be out reporting the world in no time." Jess said sincerely.

Rory felt her stomach do a somersault. It's what she'd fantasized he'd say. She had spent so much time wondering if he had liked it, if he was proud. She cared most about what he thought of her writing, because he had encouraged her and supported her when she was so young.

After a long silence Jess spoke again, "Maybe we'll go get ice-cream some time." Rory smiled at him, "You can drive." He said. Rory laughed softly, then turned and headed out the door, almost positive Jess had left the door unlocked on purpose, and she was sure that she knew all along who had turned the store room light on.

She walked home, smiling stupidly to herself, she reached her flat and headed upstairs, opening the door to find Finn, sitting on the couch, Jess's book open in his lap.

"Hi, sorry it took so long, my mother wouldn't let me leave." Rory told him, flopping down next to him and looking over his shoulder.

"Yes, she left a message for you about 20 minutes ago, along the lines of 'come back come back come back', she was a bit worried you weren't home yet." Finn said dryly, not taking his eyes off the book.

"She's just putting all her crazy energy into annoying me, so she doesn't think about the big day ahead of her." Rory said, rolling her eyes, and resting her head on his shoulder.

"The dedication in this book is nice." Finn said, turning to the front where it read –

_To the one I shared my worst and best days with,_

_To the one who hated and loved me so_

_You didn't come with me when I asked you to_

_Now I mourn, a life without my heart_

Rory had read that dedication many times, but it had seemed so impersonal. Like it wasn't about her, the words were so unlike Jess. She supposed writing your feelings down was a lot easier the telling someone. It made her stomach somersault again this time though, as she read over the familiar words.

"He's got a way with words that boy." Finn said, flipping back to the page he was at. Finn seemed cold and distant and it made Rory worry.

"What's wrong?" Rory asked gently, Finn's eyes remained on the book, though they didn't move over the words. He didn't reply, Rory snatched the book from his hands and threw it onto the coffee table in front of them. "Finn, talk to me?"

"What do you want me to say Rory? That nothing is wrong?" Finn snarled, more aggressive then Rory had ever seen him before, "I am sick of being this guy that you totally overlook."

"What are you talking about?" Rory asked in confusion.

"You go to a New Years party with me, you're ex is there, and I try so hard to be understanding but then, at midnight you're somewhere else. At my own birthday party you're slapping Logan and bitching about his wife. You're heads somewhere else all the time." Finn looked very upset and stood up, putting his hands on his head and pacing back and forwards.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Rory cried out, wanting desperately for Finn to calm down. "I'm trying really hard with us."

"You should have to try. I'm not trying and all I think about is you!" Finn yelled fiercely, "I've never been like this over a girl before. But I guess every guy you meet falls for you don't they. I'm just one of the many men in you're life."

"Finn! I'm with you. I chose you!" Rory cried out, fighting back the tears.

"For now right? You'll settle for me, while you work things out with that Jess. You can't pretend you don't have feelings for him. Logan I believe, but you want Jess." Finn's voice was quieter now, but it was sadder and he sank back onto the couch next to her.

"I…I…" Rory stammered, "We've talked about this. Jess and I are complicated." She shrugged struggling for something to say.

"Uncomplicate it then Rory, either be with him, or end it properly. It's not fair on me, everyday I'm with you, I care for you more and more. I don't want to fall for someone who isn't really with me." Finn told her quietly.

Rory felt sick. How did her night come to this?


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Rory felt more unhappy then she wished she did on her mothers wedding day. Things with Finn were tense, he sat with her in the dressing room as she touched up her make up.

"You look perfect." He told her, she smiled at him and put her mascara down.

"I just want today to be perfect. And I know if my make up is uneven my mother will notice, and all through the ceremony instead of looking at Luke she'll be scowling at my eyebrows, or glaring at my lips." Rory giggled, running her fingers through her hair.

"Well, you are perfectly symmetrical. Promise." He told her, they were quiet. It was awkward, Rory tried to ignore it, but she knew Finn was thinking about their fight, and she was too. Jess being in the ceremony wasn't going to help. "I'll meet you after, you need to go carry your mothers vale!"

"Her heads to big for a vale. She's wearing grandma's tiara. Something borrowed!" Rory smiled and Finn kissed her on the forehead and walked out, a moment later Jess entered. "You have unbelievable timing." Rory informed him.

"Interesting isn't it?" Jess said, ignoring Rory.

"What is?" Rory asked, turning to look at him.

"You and me. Standing at the alter together." Jess smirked cheekily. Rory rolled her eyes, and turned to take one last look at herself in the mirror. "You look beautiful, don't outshine your mother."

Rory nudged him with her elbow cheekily as she left the room to collect her mother, the big moment was almost here. She walked in to find her mother pacing nervously back and forth.

"Woah! Slow down there speedy." Rory said, taking her mothers hand, Lorelai took a deep breath and looked at Rory.

"I can't believe Luke and I are doing this. We're insane." Lorelai exclaimed, "It's taken us over 10 years to get to this day! It's gonna be another 30 before we have kids. We've left it to late, I'm to old for more children, Luke's not going to be attracted to me soon, my breasts will sink to the ground, and my butt. See this butt!" Lorelai cried out, pointing to her lacey butt. "It'll be gone! Melted into my thighs. My butt is going to melt!" Lorelai was hysterical and Rory grabbed her roughly around the shoulders.

"Mom! Your butt is not going to melt. You will be beautiful for many years to come and Luke will always love you and your butt." Rory assured her, this calmed Lorelai, who slowly managed to catch her breath. Miss Patty entered the room and looked at the Gilmore Girls.

"Honey. It's time." Patty said with a wink. "You know, all this wedding stuff, it makes me miss it. I think I might get married again."

"Let me get married first!" Lorelai cried out.

"Of course darling, we'll discuss me after the ceremony." Miss Patty smiled coyly.

"Great!" Lorelai said sarcastically, then taking a deep breath the three of them walked out of the room.

"I'm married!" Lorelai shouted, the crowd cheered. "To him!" Lorelai pointed at Luke and the crowd cheered again. She was giving a speech at the reception, and the many drinks she had already consumed were making it less then poetic. "I have totally had the hots for Luke since forever!" She giggled drunkenly and Luke smiled at her, "I remember when I used to call him Duke, and he would get so mad, and me and Rory would laugh and laugh…" She trailed off, "I forget the point but! I'm married!" Lorelai cheered, and the crowd roared again. Lorelai turned to look at Rory and Rory felt ill, knowing that she was about to be dragged into her mothers drunken world.

"My daughter!" Lorelai grabbed Rory and pulled her next to her, "Is beautiful! Isn't she! Isn't she!" She giggled again, "She has got the sexiest Australian man. You just wanna eat him. Watch out Finn, because Miss Patty's looking for a new husband." Lorelai looked at Rory, "I always thought, that Rory would end up with Jess. But who knows now right! We all watched Rory and Jess's love affair." Rory felt sick, she looked at Finn and was relieved to see him smiling at Lorelai's antics, Celeste however was not smiling.

"All of us saw them falling in love, except of course you Dean!" Lorelai pointed into the crowd, and Rory was surprised to see Dean sitting up the back, looking a little embarrassed. "Remember the dance marathon! Ohh…boy." Lorelai was chuckling to herself.

"Mom, you're supposed to be talking about you and Luke." Rory reminded her.

"OH YEAH!" Lorelai exclaimed, "Anyway, in closing. Luke's the only guy for me. So take that Kirk!" The crowd applauded and Rory shook her head in disbelief.

"Good lord." Luke said to Rory who laughed, she was happy. This drunken speech was a lot happier then the drunken speech at Lane's wedding, so she could handle whatever spewed out of her mother's mouth.

Rory climbed down off the stage and walked over to Finn who was smiling.

"Your mother called me a Sexy Australian Man." Finn said, Rory cringed.

" Not her finest moment. Though she does speak the truth." Rory teased, rapping her arms around Finn's waist. She spotted Dean to her left, and jabbed Finn, "Check it out, my first boyfriend."

"Wow, really your first love?" Finn said, peering around to get a look.

"Uhh…no. Just my first boyfriend." Rory sighed, "Let's go say hi."

The two of them walked over to Dean who had just managed to remove Miss Patty from himself.

"Hey!" Rory said, leaning up and hugging Dean, "Just as tall as ever huh?" Finn and Dean shook hands.

"It's been a long time." Dean said, looking down at Rory.

"It has. You're living in New York now aren't you?" Rory asked, Dean nodded, "Wow, coming back just for my mothers wedding. You do know how to charm the mothers don't you."

"Going over later to change the water for her." Dean joked, Rory grinned. Jess came strolling over to join the three of them, Dean and Jess eyed each other angrily, then grinned shaking hands.

"Nice ceremony." Rory said, feeling awkward with Jess and Finn on either side.

"The nicest." Jess said snidely, Rory gave him a withering stare, then looked away.

"Oh my god!" Jess exclaimed with glee.

"What?" Rory asked, looking around.

"You just showed me your withering stare!" Jess said, poking her in the shoulder.

"That was not a withering stare." Rory protested.

"It definitely was." Jess snapped back.

"It was…an annoyed glare." Rory replied.

"Give up Gilmore, it was your withering stare." Jess smiled at her.

"Am I missing something?" Finn asked in confusion.

"Forget it dude. It's a Rory-Jess thing. The rest of the world misses out once they get started." Dean said with a shrug, Finn looked down at his feet then off to the other side of the party.

"I'm gonna go get a drink." He said softly before walking off. Rory looked after him, feeling nervous.

"I've upset him, haven't I?" She said, biting her lip as she watched him order a drink and stand awkwardly. Celeste walked up to him and they began chatting.

"Just leave him." Jess said with a shrug.

"What do you think those two are talking about?" Rory asked.

"The two of you I'd say." Dean said with a grin, "See you guys later. I don't think I can deal with the drama that Stars Hollow brings." Then Dean strolled off, Rory glanced at him as he went.

"Tosser." Jess hissed, looking at Dean also, Rory snorted with laughter, then covered her face, horrified at the piggish noise that had escaped her. Jess laughed at her, then the two of them looked at each other, silence falling.

"Finn is jealous of us." Rory told him, Jess looked around then down at his feet.

"What's there to be jealous of." Jess said, not convincing either of them.

"I really like Finn." Rory informed Jess.

"Wow, 'like' what a strong word." Jess replied sarcastically.

"Oh shush! We have it really good, and I don't know what to do. All relationships don't always start with the way we felt for each other when we met." Rory told him.

"All the perfect ones do." Jess said softly.

"You and I are as far from perfect as humanly possible." Rory reminded him. They were quiet again, Rory looked over the see that Finn and Celeste were both watching them.

"We're being watched." Rory told Jess.

"I know. It's not just those two." Jess informed Rory, Rory looked around to see that everyone at the receptions eyes were on the two of them. Even Lorelai and Luke were watching from their podium.

"Oh god!" Rory exclaimed, then, without thinking she pushed through the crowd and ran away, as quickly as she could, she couldn't bare all the pressure and stress. She just wanted to feel free again. She wished for the simple times, when she was single, when she would see Logan every now and then and that was enough for her.

Now, she had so much to think about all the time. She was constantly thinking, Jess, Finn, Jess, Finn, Logan that cheating barstard, Finn, Jess, bloody Logan.

She found herself at the bridge, where Jess and her had made it official in her final year of school, at the dance marathon. She sat down, hanging her legs over the side, and burying her face in her hands. No tears came though, she flopped down onto her side, and lay there, on the wooden bridge, in her incredibly expensive bridesmaids dress. And slowly, softly, she began to laugh. Until it built up so much that she was laughing hysterically, lying there like a crazy woman.

Just as quickly as the laughter had started, it turned to tears. She howled sorrowfully like a small child. She felt someone sit down beside her and place there hand on her head. She sat up and looked at them. Her eyes bleary.

"I just wish I knew." Rory told them. It was her mother. She stunk of alcohol, but she seemed to have composed herself, because she was looking down at Rory with concern.

"Oh honey. You're still so young. You aren't meant to know. Look at me, it took me years and years to know. But, deep down I knew all along and I think you do too." Lorelai smiled at her miserable daughter, then giving a small hiccup, which she excused.

"You're going to ruin your wedding dress." Rory said softly through her tears.

"I'm never going to wear it again. It should have an interesting life while it still has the chance." Lorelai grinned, pulling her daughter into a tight hug.

"If you can't decide, Dean's here tonight." Rory looked up at her mother who was fighting back her laughter.

"Oh god, no way." Rory exclaimed.

"Remember his terrible haircut when you first met?" Lorelai laughed.

"Good lord. Ah to be young again." Rory giggled down, whipping the tears from her face. Lorelai climbed to her feet and helped Rory up.

"Come on kid. We better get you back, otherwise Jess's girlfriend isn't going to be able to rip your eyes out." Lorelai said, putting her arm around her daughter.

"Oh god, I hadn't even thought of that." Rory groaned, and the two of them walked slowly back, arms around each other. Rory dreading what would happen when she returned to face the boys, Celeste and the whole town.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Rory felt weak, she didn't want to face Finn, or Jess or the townspeople's eyes. She felt guilty for making such a scene on her mothers wedding day. But, most of all, she felt dread. A hard rock had formed in her throat, and her stomach was churning madly. She didn't return to the reception with her mother, instead she sat in the gazebo staring blankly off into the distance. It was dark now and she could feel the cold breeze on her skin, but was to preoccupied to shiver.

She wondered nervously what would happen when she met with all the people, who at this moment she was desperately trying to avoid. She couldn't though. Jess and Celeste would be at Luke's diner. Finn would be waiting for her at her apartment. The townspeople of course, were everywhere, and they would ask her questions and tease and whisper about her.

Rory took her phone out of the small bag she was carrying and scanned through the numbers, searching for someone to talk too. Someone to put it in some sort of perspective. She reached Paris's name, she hadn't spoken to Paris in a long time, she was worried about the lecture she would receive for letting true friendships die, but she was desperate.

"Hello?" Came Paris's voice, abrupt and angry as ever.

"Paris. It's Rory." Rory said in barely a whisper. There was silence for a moment, as if Paris had too many things to say at once and couldn't choose which one to bark out first.

"Rory…What's up?" She said finally, Rory was surprised at the casualness of this reply.

"We hadn't spoken in a while, and I've been having some problems, and I wanted to talk to you about them." Rory told her.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Paris sounded confused.

"You've always been helpful. I know you'll look at the situation without emotion and tell me what the right thing is." Rory explained. There was silence again, Rory could hear a scratching noise in the background, "Are you taking notes on our conversation."

"No." Paris said, and immediately the scratching stopped, Rory smirked. "Alright, lay it on me."

Rory went through the whole situation, starting from writing about Jess's book and her first trip to Philly. Paris listened quietly, not interrupting Rory. When Rory had finally finished explaining, she felt better. It was good to just talk to someone, let it all out.

"Rory…" Paris was quiet, Rory could practically hear her mind going over what had been said, "I don't think I can help you. You told me to look at your situation without emotion, and tell you what the right thing is. This situation is so full of emotion, I don't think I'm the one to help you. You're emotions are."

Rory was surprised by Paris's words. Not expecting such a thing to come out of her mouth, however she knew that Paris was right. She couldn't make this important decision based on Paris's opinion, or her mothers, or Jess's or Finn's. It was all down to her.

"I hope you work it out." Paris said, then she hung up, Rory sat with her phone still to her ear for a moment, then she put it away. She was back to square one. Except now, she spotted Jess making his way over. He was alone.

He sat down next to Rory without a word. They both sat in silence. Rain started to fall gentle, making a drumming sound on the roof of the gazebo.

"Are you cold?" Jess asked softly, Rory nodded and he took his jacket off and put it around her shoulders, she smiled gently, not looking at him, not ready to look at him. "That was quite a run you just did. I'm always surprised by your speed. Guess it's all that coffee."

Rory let out a breath, somewhere between a chuckle and a sob.

"It's ok." Jess said, putting his arm around her and drawing her in. Rory was past the point of crying, she felt like such a stupid girl for crying. People lived in poverty, starving, hungry. People lived in war torn countries, their family killed before their eyes. And Rory cried because two great guys wanted her.

"You are with Celeste." Rory told him, finally turning to look him in the face. "How can you say you want me, when you're with another woman?"

"I care for Celeste. If I can't have you, she's the one I would want." Jess told Rory.

"Lucky number 2." Rory said sarcastically, standing up and pacing back and forth. "We'll hurt them, if we are together. I can't bare to hurt Finn."

"But you're willing to hurt me?" Jess said, sounding annoyed.

"You have someone. You have Celeste, you have this life in Philly that you're already living with her." Rory cried out, looking down at him.

"I've lost you too many times. I don't want to lose you again! I love you Rory. I love you!" Jess shouted, Rory was shocked. "I've never stopped. I loved you when we ate that crumby picnic lunch you made, I loved you when I watched you dancing at the dance marathon, I loved you when I saw you on the bus, when I was leaving."

"You left me!" Rory snapped back, "You left me! I was heartbroken, sick. I cried myself to sleep for months. I didn't get to go to my prom."

"We were kids. I was scared. I'm not scared now." Jess said, they were both standing down, yelling at each other, just like it always had been.

"I have to go." Rory told him, running down the gazebo steps and beginning to make her way across the grass, rain wetting her hair. Jess ran up behind her and grabbed her by her hand and spun her around to face him.

"I won't let you go." He told her, then he kissed her roughly on the mouth, she kissed him back and the embraced tightly, Rory thought in the back of her mind how clique it was to kiss in the rain, but she didn't care. Jess had his hands on either side of her face ad through her now soaking hair. Then, they parted, looking at each other. "Don't make me have to chase you again."

"Jess Mariano. I do believe you just did something corny and romantic." Rory told him, they were grinning at each other through the pouring rain, Jess still had Rory by one of her hands.

"I'm willing to lower myself to that if it means being close to you." Jess smiled, "Come on." Jess said, leading Rory towards the diner.

Rory allowed herself to be pulled into Luke's diner, she took a seat on a stool at the counter. The store was shut and pitch black, Jess ran upstairs and grabbed a couple of candles, lit them and placed them on the counter in front of Rory.

"Don't want to turn the lights on, or the whole town will come expecting coffee." Jess told her, the candles created distorted shadows on the walls and cast an eerie light over the diner.

"Won't Celeste be back?" Rory asked nervously, not eager to bump into her for fear for her life.

"She's with mum. Those two love each other, they will be chatting for hours." Jess informed Rory has he put some coffee on.

"Finn will be wondering where I am. He'll probably be back at the apartment waiting for me." Rory said, feeling ill again.

"And what will you say to him?" Jess asked.

"I don't want to think about that yet." Rory said, standing up and walking around to meet Jess, "I just want to pretend, just for a little while, that you and I are simple." She reached up and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Simple…that would be nice." Jess said, then he kissed her again.


	22. Chapter 22

**This next chapter is only a short one, but I thought it was best by itself. Thanks for your reviews, I'm glad people are enjoying it!**

**Chapter 22**

"We shouldn't have done this." Rory said, getting up from the cold hard ground behind the counter and reaching for her dress.

"Yeah, not very hygienic, Luke wouldn't be pleased." Jess said, sitting up and putting his arms around Rory.

"No! We shouldn't have. I wanted to pretend it was simple, and all I've done is complicate things." Rory sighed, shrugging Jess off and sliding her dress on over her head.

"I think after tonight it's pretty clear what we both want." Jess said, sounding irritated. "Don't go all weird on me now Rory."

"I'm not going all weird. I feel guilty. Finn doesn't deserve this kind of thing. I told him on New Years I wanted to be with him." Rory told Jess who let out an exasperated moan.

"We also kissed that night, remember?" Jess told her, standing up, only his pants on, Jess fell quiet and Rory looked up at him from the floor, he looked shocked. Then, Rory heard the diner door open, they had forgot to lock it.

"What on earth are you doing with those candles Jess, you're going to burn the whole diner down." Rory heard Celeste say, she felt as if she was going to be sick. She looked around desperately for her underwear, but she couldn't see them anywhere.

"Celeste…I uh…thought you were already upstairs and I didn't want to wake you up with all the lights." Jess said feebly.

"Why on Earth would I be here without you?" Celeste said, sounding unconvinced.

"You mentioned being tired at the reception." Jess said, trying to sound casual, but Rory could definitely hear the fear in his voice.

"Whatever…Where did you go anyway? To find Rory?" Celeste asked sounding annoyed, "I swear Jess, that girl has caused us nothing but problems."

"No, I just needed some time to think. I went for a walk, to clear my head." Jess replied.

"Let me guess, you needed to think about Rory." Celeste replied, Rory heard her pull a stool out and sit down at the counter, Rory flattened herself against the other side.

Jess glanced down at Rory for a split second, who looked back in fear.

"Let's not do this tonight. I don't want to fight with you." Jess said sounding genuinely exhausted.

"Rory's boyfriend seems nice." Celeste went on, "I've never met an Australian before."

"Me neither." Jess replied, sounding relieved that the conversation had become a little less intense. "He does seem like a good guy."

"Went to Yale with her, was best friends with Rory's ex. She does seem to enjoy a bit of drama doesn't she?" Celeste replied with a small chuckle.

"I think she just kind of attracts it." Jess replied, "Please Lest, give this Rory talk a break."

"Fine." Celeste said grumpily, "You can't blame a girl for worrying when he boyfriend turns into a completely different person whenever that girl is around." Celeste's stool dragged and then Rory heard her walk off and up the stairs. The office door upstairs closed and Jess let out a long breath.

"That could have been nasty." Jess said, looking down at Rory, who was still speechless.

"Yes, she doesn't seem to be my biggest fan." Rory replied shakily, pulling herself to her feet. "I can't find my underpants, I thought she was going to see them."

"They are here." Jess said pulling them out of his pants pocket. "They were on the counter when she came to the door, but I grabbed them quickly."

"Oh god. We're like a couple of teenagers sneaking around." Rory said taking her underpants and pulling them on under her dress.

"You better go, she might come back." Jess told her, Rory nodded and scuttled out of the diner and down the street, her shoes in her hand.


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry if the grammar is bad in this chapter, I wrote it when I was tired and couldn't be bothered proof reading it so, keep that in mind haha.**

**Chapter 23**

Rory climbed up the stairs to her apartment, feeling extremely nervous. She didn't know what she was going to do or say, she had gone about this situation in entirely the wrong way and now there was no way Finn wouldn't hate her. She unlocked the door and went inside, but it was dark, no one was there.

"Finn?" She called out, but there was no reply, she fumbled for the light switch and flicked it on. Where was he? She spotted a piece of paper on the coffee table and walked over and picked it up.

_Rory,_

_I thought it was easier this way. We all know what you decision is so there is no point drawing this whole thing out. I should have known from the start that you were never really with me. I was just a transition, someone to help you along, though I'm angry now, I also understand._

_I never thought I would be like this over a girl. If Logan and Colin could see me now, I'd never hear the end of it. _

_Please don't come after me. It'll only make it harder on me, we don't need to talk about this. It's already clear. If you come, I won't be able to stop myself from saying horrible things. _

_See ya love._

_Finn._

Rory looked at the letter, reading over it twice more before putting it down and sinking down onto the couch. Finn had broken up with her.

She couldn't believe it. Not even a chance to explain herself, nothing. He was just gone. She tore the paper into 4 pieces angrily and dropped them onto the floor. How could he just take off like that? Without so much as a good-bye!

How immature it was for him to just leave she thought furiously.

She sat fuming in front of the couch, flicking through the channels on TV but not really watch for about an hour, muttering angrily to herself and throwing dark looks at the torn note that littered her ground.

Rory knew that she was hurting Finn, but she had wanted the chance to explain, apologize and go about things in a mature way. She really liked Finn, she didn't want to lose him forever.

Then it hit her, she really liked Finn. What an idiot she had been. She had treated him like a nobody, been a liar just like Logan had to her. She thought she might love Jess again, but that was no reason to sneak around and sleep with Jess behind Finn's back. There was no excuse.

Unbelievable guilt came over Rory as she sat there, she switched the TV off, giving up on trying to have an interest in any show and bit her nails nervously. She didn't dare call Finn, he had asked her not to.

All she had wanted was a proper good-bye whether it be a furious good-bye, a hurt good-bye, a good-bye that ended on good terms she had just wanted closure. Finn has simply done exactly what Jess had done when she was with him last time, packed up and left.

There was a knock at Rory's door which she did not register at first, to busy stewing in her own thoughts, but when it came again, louder and more deliberate she jumped up, composing herself and opened the door.

Finn was standing there, looking sheepish.

"I got halfway home and realised I was going about this all wrong." He said, stepping inside and closing the door. He stood awkwardly in front of Rory who was speechless.

Rory was angry, but she knew she had no right to be so she stood in silence, looking back at Finn, waiting for an explanation.

"I saw you and Jess kissing near the gazebo this afternoon." Finn told Rory, who sighed and walked over to the couch, taking a seat. Finn followed her.

"I didn't mean for that to happen." Rory told him, but he raised his hand, indicating for her to be quiet.

"I know you're not a bad person. I know you didn't set out to hurt me. I know all that." Finn ran his hand across his face, he looked extremely exhausted. "It doesn't stop it from making me sick. Making me hurt worse then I ever have before." Finn paused, looking down at his knees before he continued. "I was talking to Celeste at the reception, she's breaking up with Jess….When I saw you and Jess together I knew I didn't have a chance. You guys just click."

"You and I click as well." Rory said defensively, and then wondered why on earth she had said that.

"I get along with most people. They think I'm funny. They think I'm easy going. Typical Aussie bloke. I don't want the girl I'm with to see me as just that." Finn told her.

"I don't see you as that at all Finn. I think you're incredible. You've been so good to me, helped me with Logan despite him being your best friend, and you've always been so understanding." Rory explained to him. Finn nodded, looking grim.

"I know, and I want the girl I'm with to truly appreciate it. Not just go back to her high school boyfriend that never really treated her the way she deserved to be treated. I don't want to be the guy that picks the girl up and puts her back together, so she's all better for the next guy." Finn told Rory then he stood up. "I'm glad I came back. Good-bye Rory."

He turned to leave, Rory felt frantic and confused.

"Finn!" Rory cried out, running over to the door and blocking it so he couldn't get out. "Don't go. Please. I want to talk to you."

"What so you can ease your conscience?" Finn snapped, sounding bitter.

"No, I just…I'm not ready for you to go." Rory said, pleadingly.

"You can't have both Rory." Finn told her, trying to push past her, but she wouldn't move.

"I never meant to do this to you. I don't know what I've done." She said, bursting into tears. She stood there in front of Finn sobbing, she felt so pathetic. So stupid. He didn't hug her, but he didn't leave. He stood beside her. "I'm so sorry."

"I know you are." Finn said, Rory finally managed to calm down. Finn slowly eased her to the side of the door then walked out. She listened to his footsteps fade away down the stairs. She didn't feel real.

Jess and Celeste were breaking up, she could be with Jess.

Finn had been so angry, so upset. She couldn't believe she had been so crap to him. She walked over to where she had torn the note and put it back together on her coffee table. She read over it again, feeling sick.

Had she just thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to her for an old high school flame?

Maybe she had just been curious about Jess. Maybe in the end, Jess was better left in the past. Whenever she saw him she felt like a better person. But was she really?


	24. Chapter 24

**Geez guys relax. You can't expect Rory to just be fine and 100 ok when she breaks up with her boyfriend. Stop you're whining. You'll get what you want, haha. This is my last chapter for this story. If I get any interest I could write a sequel. I'm starting a new story and I hope you will read it and tell me what you think. It's going to be a lot different then this one, but still based around Rory. **

**Chapter 24**

Rory hadn't been to see Jess, she didn't know if he had broken up with Celeste, she knew he was still at the diner, he was watching it for Luke while he was on his honeymoon, but she was afraid to go over there in case she was greeted by Celeste.

She hadn't spoken to Finn, it had been over a week and she had mostly just stayed in her apartment, working and watching TV. Only going out to see Lane.

She missed Finn, talking to him and laughing with him, but mostly her thoughts were on Jess.

Finally, there was a knock on her door late one night and she opened it to find Jess standing there, she let him in without a word.

"Where have you been?" Jess asked, sounding a little irritated.

"Right here." Rory replied shortly.

"Where's Finn?" Jess asked, looking around the apartment, as if Finn was about to jump out from behind the couch and yell 'Surprise me and Rory are engaged!'.

"We broke up the other night." Rory informed Jess would looked relieved.

"How did he take it?" Jess asked walking over to the couch and taking a seat.

"Not well." Rory said, feeling that familiar pang of guilt. She sat down next to him and he took her hand in his.

"Celeste is gone too." Jess informed Rory, Rory's guilt was replaced by a feeling of excitement, she could feel her heart pumping in her chest.

"So that means…" Rory said, but trailed off, looking at Jess who looked as nervous as she felt.

"I'm yours. If you want me." He said sheepishly, looking into his lap.

"I wouldn't want anyone else." Rory said, touching her free hand to his cheek. She couldn't believe that this was finally happening, she felt excited and scared all at once. She felt like she did when she lined up for a rollercoaster, only amplified by 100.

They sat looking at each other. This was such a huge moment for both of them, they were speechless.

"I feel like we should be kissing like crazy or…doing something." Rory said, breaking the silence.

"I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that you're mine." Jess told her with a shy smile.

"I know, go to the bridge I'll be right behind you." Rory told him, Jess smirked and with a shrug he rose to his feet and left. Rory grabbed her wallet and left a few moments after him, heading for Doosey's Market. She bought a small basket and filled it with a few items of food, she smiled at the small basket, this one was worth more the $90, it was worth everything.

She headed for the bridge, swinging the basket in her hand, she reached the bridge, Jess was sitting with his legs dangling over the edge, she walked towards him. He spotted her, then looked at the basket, a smile crossed his face.

"I'm not paying a fortune for this one." He told her as she took a seat next to him.

"Ssh…don't spoil the moment. I was trying to do something meaningful and sweet." Rory said, placing the basket between them.

"And you did a wonderful job." Jess assured her, leaning over and kissing her on the nose, she grinned. There was a comfortable silence for a few moments as they looked at the water. "So what do you see in that Dean guy anyway?" Jess asked. The two of them laughed, and Rory rested her head softly on Jess's shoulder, she felt his head resting on hers and she couldn't help feeling perfect.

"I can't believe we've finally made it to this point." Rory whispered, closing her eyes.

"I always knew we would." Jess sighed, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

In that moment, all Rory's guilt and unhappiness just seeped away. She finally felt free and happy, she was in love. True real love. The type of love she had never felt with anyone but Jess. She felt like she would die if she were to lose him again. She could feel him breathing softly and it made her skin tingle.

"I love you Jess, don't ever leave." Rory said gently, lifting her head up to look into his eyes.

"I love you too, nothing could make me leave you." He replied, taking Rory's face in his hands. They kissed for what seemed like forever. Rory felt so clique but she didn't care, she was in love and nothing could stop her from practically floating away.

"So what now?" She asked.

_**The End!**_

**So yeah, that's it. You're typical happy ending, isn't exactly how I saw it ending, but I think its what people wanted. If you'd like to me completely tear Rory's life apart some more I'd be happy to write a sequel, otherwise read my new story!!!**

**LOVE!**


End file.
